My beloved child, lost 4/24/10
I had been trying to conceive for so long I had given up. Then one miraculous day I found out I was pregnant. My husband and I could not wait for the arrival of little Colin Finlay or Aisling Loralei. But then on 24 April tragedy struck, and we lost our little miracle.
Words cannot describe the devastation. Even though it's been two years, the pain remains indescribable. Sometimes I'm raging, sometimes I'm just numb. I think about the baby all the time, what they'd be like now, who they would have been.
The only sense of peace I ever get is writing them letters, saying all the things I'll never get to say in person. Still... the pain is devastating. All the what-ifs.... I just want to find some sort of closure, some sort of peace. I know it will never stop hurting, but I need something.