My Beloved Max
5 years ago we were going through a rough patch and we decided to get a puppy. We wanted a small dog and found our beloved Max. A Black and Tan Daschund. He was supposed to be a dog for my youngest son but instead found himself attached to me. Soon he made his way into our hearts and our bed as the best cuddle buddy ever. He loved to bark at the squirrels and the birds. He was loyal, always happy to see us and then a tragic unforseen disaster.
We had just returned form Vacation last week and picked up Max from my brother's home who also was attached to him. He has been the spotlight in the house since he arrived 5 years ago. We were making dinner and of course as we know these little dogs are vacuum cleaners and of course Max was always in the kitchen waiting for something to fall to the ground. That night something did fall, an onion and my husband tried to get it from him but he had already swallowed it. Shortly after he began acting strange, wimpered as he tried to bark. Ate his own dinner and whined a little when he swallowed and I never thought he would have swallowed something and possibly had it caught in his throat. I though maybe he had a sore throat. The next day he was lethargic and not his cheerful self. My son took care and by the time I got home his breathing pattern had changed and so we decided it was time to go to the vet. They took him straight back, examined him and said he was lethargic but everything checked out. They were unsure what the cause was and did not think the onion was part of the problem. They offered xrays and labs or we could just to continue to watch him. He had perked up a little so we decided to take him home and if continued to have problems we would bring him back. The next morning he had not changed and my husband looked at him, petted him and said mommy is going to take you back to the vet today. A short time later he died. I was and still am in shock. My heart hurts and I and my family are at a loss.
Later that day we wrapped him in a blanket as he so loved and buried him by a tree that we can see from our kitchen window. My brother and his wife came up to help us and celebrate his short time with us. My son and all of us are devastated and it left us with questions unanswered of happened. When we left the vet we in our hearts felt he was going to be fine. The vet although unsure of what was wrong did not seem too concerned. We have replayed the days in our mind, sought expert advice and now have to wonder if he had something caught in his airway that he couldnt get out. He couldnt tell us what was wrong, and my husband all along thought it had to do with him eating the onion. We know onions are toxic to dogs but in large quantities. This was not the case. The vet even said she looked in his mouth and did not see anything but would have to sedate him to look down his throat. Now we are left heartbroken and questioning ourselves as we feel like we failed Max. We should have done more. I am guilt ridden as well as my husband. While we will never have an exact answer as to what happened we will always have a hard time forgetting and questioning our actions. We would have done everything possible for him. We just didnt know until now and now its too late.
I cant sleep, eat and keep replaying the days and wishing I could go back and do something more. I try to think of all the great things about Max, but I come home, the house is empty and we are all sad and devastated. I sure will miss him and am trying to hang on to the memories but still feel cheated that he is not here with us now.
I am hopeful as the days keep coming and time passes that the memories will remain, he will not be forgotten and that our hearts will find peace and heal from this tragic unexpected event.