My beloved son, Ben Nov. 17, 2012

by Marie
(London, UK)

My son Ben, 23 years of age, just got certified as a Yoga instructor 3 weeks before his motorbyke was swiped by a van driven by a 73 year-old woman as she turned left. My husband and I lived in London when this happened. The woman claimed she did not see my son and 3 witnesses came up to speak that it was her fault. He passed away same day on Nov. 17, 2012, and on Dec. 15th, 2012 which was barely a month, he would be graduating in college with an English major. Ben was ready it seems for this eventuality--a dozen journals with poems, anecdotes, and journal entries surfaced in his apartment, some of which had references to life and death. In August of 2012, he insisted to help in the flooding in the Philippines. For two weeks, he witnessed the poverty and inconsolable struggle of people affected by calamities. In photos and videos of Ben, he can be seen submerged in murky water full of debris and all kinds of diseases. in his journal, he promised to come back and help the poor. He then came back to his university in Dallas and vowed to finish his degree. Meanwhile, he was also helping a child with some mental disorder through breathing, music, and yoga.

At his wake, everyone of his friends shared that Ben has touched their lives profoundly. They claimed that Ben helped them during their difficult moments. Some witnessed that he has a beautiful soul or that his soul is perfect. All he wanted to do was to help others--as was written in his own purpose in life. How can a soul this great, immersed in poverty in a third world country, and vowed to embark on a mission be taken away as soon as he was just beginning? He wrote profusely and towards the end, he found a deep connection with God.
Ben's last FB entry was as follows:

"Live every moment as if it were your last,
It may very well be.
Live each and every moment,
Savor the gift of being alive!
And after you have lived like this
With each moment precious and unique,
You will find your truth,
You will find the beauty in this wold,
And you will have truly lived,
Instead of having just been alive.
Live now!
Live well :)

Ben meant for us, especially his family, to live well, but with our loss, it seems impossible. We miss him so terribly and pray that we will see him in heaven one day.

Comments for My beloved son, Ben Nov. 17, 2012

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Jan 13, 2013
Life is a Challenge in the midst of our Loss
by: Marie

Doreen, I am truly sorry for your loss. I can not imagine losing a husband at such a young age. I am blessed with my husband going through my deepest sorrows. Now that I am cuddling my own loss, I feel that life's challenges muster us to be stronger. I see Life with boxing gloves ready to pick a fight and think of myself ready to fight Life. However, I really don't know how much we can take. Four years ago, I lost my mom battling 10 years of suffering from Alzheimer's. A year after, I lost my most beloved brother to heart attack, he was 59 years old. A year later, I buried my dad. And now, I am down in the pits after losing my wonderful 23 year old son because a careless 73 year old driver did not see him. I firmly believe that my son did not die in vain. I still believe that God has better plans for him and that I owe to my Creator. Down this path of grief there has to be a silver lining that awaits us. To all of us who are in this path, may we find comfort in believing what we know, and know what we believe in.

Jan 10, 2013
My beloved son, Ben Nov. 17, 2012
by: Doreen U.K

Marie I am so sorry for your loss of your son Ben to a tragic accident. Life is so very UNFAIR but we have no control over this. Your Son sounds like an amazing person. As if he were an ANGEL sent here for a purpose and TIME and now taken away. WHY? Life has more questions than answers. Your son LIVED HIS LIFE WELL. By all accounts He had a Wise Head on young Shoulders. More MATURE than his years. I FEEL VERY BLESSED. By reading what Ben's Legacy was for LIFE. We all hope that we can live life well and feel we benefited from being here in the world. Ben seems to have not only LIVED WELL. HE LOVED WELL. HE DIED WELL. Now that is What God wants. You will see him again. Ben had a beautiful Soul to the end. You must be very PROUD PARENTS.
My husband had a beautiful Soul. I lost him 8 months ago to CANCER. My very Soul Cries out for such a loss. I know how you feel. May you all be comforted in your Sorrow and Grief.

Jan 08, 2013
I understand
by: Matt's Mom

I just found this site and your blog. I also lost my son and just passed the first year anniversary this Christmas Day 2012. I don't believe these seven stages apply when you lose a child. It is simply transcendant. I can tell you that he isn't gone, he's just not huggable anymore. My son is always with me, sometimes so strongly that I'm shocked to realize I won't hear his voice until we meet again. It's almost the same sense of him as when I was pregnant but with more memories.

I've learned more about my son since his death than I might ever have if he had lived via shared stories and pictures and in that I grew to realize what a great man he was. Maybe that is a gift.

My heart goes out to you. Your son sounded like a wonderful person who will be missed by many.

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