My Beloved Son Dimitri

by Shirley
(Mission Hills, CA)

My sweet silly boy

My sweet silly boy

On August 9th, 2010 my whole world turned upside down. That's the day my sweet silly son went to Heaven. He was 23 years and 27 days old. It all started almost exactly 2 years earlier to the day on August 11th, 2008. He had been playing basketball 4 days earlier and came home complaining of right sided pain and nausea after being "bumped" in the side by another player. On the 11th, I received a phone call at work from my youngest daughter saying, "Mom, Dimitri's eyes are yellow". I left work and went home and took him to the emergency room. We didn't leave the hospital until the last week of October.

While we were there my son suffered through so many procedures as they attempted to figure out what was wrong. Eventually, there was no answer and he was doing so poorly that they had to do a liver transplant.

He did well with the transplant and came home on 21 different medications. Unfortunately, during his hospitalization for the liver issues he also developed bone marrow suppression so he wasn't making his red and white bloodcells or platelets the way he was supposed to. We had to bring him to his doctor twice a week, a 100 mile round trip in Los Angeles traffic, for transfusions.

Ten weeks after coming home he came into my room at 2:30 am in a panic because he couldn't stop vomiting and he had a fever. Back to the ER we went. He was admitted and began to deteriorate quickly. He was in septic shock. He had an infection in his colon. They did emergency surgery and removed half of his colon. He was on life support for 8 days. When he finally opened his eyes he was on the ventilator and he had an ileostomy bag. It was so painful to explain this to a 21 year old.

We dealt with the bi-weekly transfusions, multiple hospitalizations due to infections and issues with his ileostomy as a team. Both of us knew the drill. Sudden trips in the middle of the night to Cedars Sinai were the norm. Finally, 6 months after the GI surgery they were able to reverse the ileostomy. He was the happiest kid ever.

Now we had to deal with the bone marrow suppression. The docs decided on a round of chemo. It didn't work. We then realized that our only choice was a bone marrow transplant. His little sister was a perfect match. The transplant was to take place July 19th, 2010. At the end of May he started to have shoulder pain that wouldn't respond to pain pills or massage. He went for his transfusion and the doctors ran some labs. He was admitted May 27th for acute lymphocytic leukemia. He never came home. At least he didn't come to the home I wanted him to come to. He went into septic shock from an overwhelming infection that took over his body because he had no immune system.

I had medical power of attorney. He didn't want to be sustained on machines so once the doctors told me there was no hope I agreed to the DNR. I hugged him as his poor tired heart took its final beats and I sang a song to him that I used to sing to him when he was a baby.

I love and miss my son. I don't think I'll ever heal or ever be the person I was. I'm thankful I had him for 23 years, but angry that he went before me. His father and brothers and sisters and nephews and other family members are also left broken hearted. We are all struggling with how to move forward. Life will never be the same.

Comments for My Beloved Son Dimitri

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Jul 11, 2011
Remembering Dimitri
by: Kay (australia)

Thank you for your message I am thinking of you and your handsome Dimitri. I wish Dimitri a happy birthday and just know he will be celebrating with his relatives gone before and friends including Dean. It will be a hard time for you tomorrow. 13th. We will always ache in our hearts for our boys but also hold love for eternity. Thank you for your prayers I too pray for you. Just remember Shirley we will join our boys when our time comes...this is not the end. Love and healing to you lovely lady.xxxxxxxx

Dec 23, 2010
thinking of you with love and a special connection
by: kay

Hi Shirley
I know how you must be feeling especially at a time when we are meant to be sharing time with family.I too feel what you do....I read your posts and we will forever have a connection ..We have lost one the most cherished and significant people in our lives. It is too hard to comprehend, most people just haven't got a clue. We can't be our true selves ever again. I am thinking of you and your family and understand your loss (like many other parents on this site) we are doing it tough. I send you love and healing. Kay xxx

Dec 01, 2010
Hi shirley
by: Anonymous

We have lost someone so important in our lives, we will never ever be the same. I don't know what to do this xmas without my beautiful young man, my son who was 23. How empty our arms and hearts will be. Just know we have each other and that we know and care, xxxxxx

Nov 28, 2010
God, Strength, Confort
by: Nila

Yes, life wont be the same, but you do have God to help you go thru this difficult time by giving you strength and comfort. I also lost a son in a automobile accident 4 years ago and yes life can never be the same because nobody can replace your child, but if it wasn't for the Lord that has been in my walk since then, it would of been much harder. Seek the Lord for strength and comfort specially in those days that are harder than others and God will help you.

Oct 19, 2010
My beloved son Michael
by: Jean

I too feel your pain and you are not alone. My beloved son, Michael, died March 18, 2010 at the age 22. My son fought for 10 months a courageous battle to lung cancer, but lost. For me I have found the "Journey through Grief" seminar offered at a local parish helpful along with a by weekly support group for "parents that have lost a child." I keep busy and keep a photo of Michael's smiling face with me always. My prayers are with you. Please know you are not alone.
Another grieving Mom.

Oct 01, 2010
I Lost my Son I can not believe it
by: Anonymous

Life will never be the same. I am older so I am glad I will met him soon. He was a lovely son, everyone liked him. Why? I do not understand. When God calls them they have to go. My Best wishes for you and your family to get thru life without him.

Sep 24, 2010
by: kay

I have a common link with you, and as I read your story tears rolled down my face. I lost my precious son as well aged 23 in May this year. I just take one day at a time. It's all I can do at times I don't know if I can survive the deepest heartache I have ever known as I'm sure you know the feeling. I send to you my love and will be on my are not alone xoxoxoxlove Kay

Sep 23, 2010
1 step, 1 breath at a time
by: Patricia

We share a common thread in life you and I, But I wanted to pass on something someone once told me, so when my heart is aching and tears don't stop I remember this ~
1 step, 1 breath at a time....

Wise words
Hugs ~ your cuz...

Sep 23, 2010
I know your pain
by: Terri

I know your pain. As I was reading your story tears streamed down my face. My 19 year old daughter passed on May 13, 2010. I too will never again be the same. I know there are no words to ease the pain that you feel because none have eased mine.

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