My Best Friend Murdered!

by Liz

My sister was murdered. Stabbed to death 45 times by a so called friend of hers on February 27, 2010; she was only 33 years old.

Everyone called my sister "Rae", the youngest of 3 other sisters. Rae was extremely intelligent, she was very outspoken, caring, sweet, thoughtful, funny and generous. Everyone that met her fell in love with her. She was my best friend.

Growing up we did everything together, she was my athletic partner, we rode bikes from the bronx to manhattan, played handball, drank, got into trouble, danced; she was godmother to one of my daughters, was in the delivery room when I gave birth and cut her umbilical cord.

Rae was always there for me and her 5 nieces, 4 of which are mine. We spoke about everything. She never made me feel ashamed or afraid that what I had to say to her would sound stupid or crazy, she understood me completely. If I had trouble dealing with something I said or did, she would tell me straight out, I was wrong, or I was right. I really had no other friends. None that I felt comfortable telling everything to.

Now she is gone, and I have this complete emptiness inside me. I am so afraid to get too close to anyone emotionally. I am distancing myself even from my own children. This loss of my sister is the worst thing that has happened to my family.

I have experienced good days when I can talk about her or see a picture of her without wanting to scream, cry, and lock myself away in a room. Other times, I am completely numb, extremely depressed and at times, do not want to be bothered with anyone. I keep all this hidden and do not show my parents, sister's, children or anyone else how deeply this is still affecting me. I barely sleep, I drank excessively for 3 months (which I stopped because I was always hungover). I go to work and some days have very productive days, while others I don't care if anything gets done. Every waking moment my Rae is on my mind. It hurts me so much to think that she suffered. She did not deserve to die this way, so horrible and violent.

This was my first time looking for help to deal with my grief and am glad I came across this site. God bless every one of you that are going through this terrible pain. May you be given the strength to survive.

Comments for My Best Friend Murdered!

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Jul 05, 2010
Dear One
by: Anonymous

I feel the pain you are suffering in your words.
I just lost my older brother who was' My Best Friend' so I do understand that very unique relationship and the pain is almost unbearable at times. I think people don't attach the great grief and loss of a sibling as much as they do loss of wife, husband, parent etc. Until you lose your dear sibling you just can't grasp the feeling.

I don't know if you are a believer in God or the love of Jesus our Lord but He is the greatest comfort I have found. He grieves along with us and shares our pain. He went through much grief and pain on this earth and much rejection and He is closer than a brother.

I will keep you in prayer and in thought and know that you are loved as is your sister. She is alive in your heart and as is her love. What a legacy to have loved and been loved so much by you. God Bless you and know there are those in the world that can truly understand your pain.

A friend that cares.

Jul 02, 2010
Loss Of Sister
by: Brenda

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have one sister and one brother and cannot dare to even think of what it would be like without them. I lost my son in May of this year and my sister has helped me get through the whole first month with the funeral and all. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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