My best friend, my love, my everything

My most precious gift passed away April 19th, 2012 at 10:55pm. We began hospice on February 28th of the same year. The first three weeks were wonderful I am so grateful that we had that time together. Even though his passing was not unexpected I still feel numb. My husband taught me so many things, how to love without reservation and more importantly how to forgive. He had such a tough guy exterior but what a total teddy bear inside. He never lied to me ever, there were a few things he might have left out but when I asked he always answered my questions completely.

I was not his first love he had married before but I was the last. That is good enough for me because he so profoundly changed the person that I am. He was so very good to me, my children and his children. Too bad they couldn't see it until it was too late. I wish them peace because guilt is a very hard thing to live with. I know he waited for them to come because he died just two hours after they left. He loves them and he would not be hurt with them anymore.

I wish him peace, I pray there is an afterlife because I cannot imagine never seeing him again. I knew this day would come because we were 20 some year different in ages. We had 15 good years together. We did some couples therapy, the counselor asked me how I felt about the age difference. I said everything has a price and I know there maybe another twenty years I am here without him but it has been worth it to me....

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