My Best Friend

by Terri Smith
(Dorchester, MA)

My name is Terri. I married the love of my life on August 4th, 2001. We were friends for over 10 years, then started dating. We, like other newlyweds struggled at first, then things seemd to be getting better. We bought our 1st home in 2005. Now, when I look back, it was too soon. We weren't ready for that kind of a committment just yet. Problems started, but again looking back, it wasn't that big of a adeal. Anyway, fast forward, I moved out, then my husband also left the house. Through it all we remained close, then divorced, with the intention of starting over, keeping everyone out of our business, including jealous family members, starting with his mother. The last time I saw him was December 25th, 2011, Christmas Day. I went over to his mothers to bring him a present. I was having dinner with friends that year, and Wayne had to go to work. We sat in my car while he opened his gift, we talked for a while, then I left. On my way home that evening, I called him, we talked, laughed, and agreed to speak in the am, like we always did. That was our last conversation. On his way to job number 1 in the am, he had a tragic accident in Revere, MA. It's amazing how in an instant your life can change. I don't enjoy things the way I used to anymore. Everything I was, was because of him. All our dreams and plans went up in smoke. I am not ready to date or even to go out with friends, it's sooooo hard to be around other people. I never understood suicide, now I do. If it weren't for my daughters and very good friends I truly believe I would've killed myself to be with him. I go to work everyday, so greatful I have a place to go. I know the person I was, is gone, but I know he's with me all day everyday. I had an incident that I want to share. One of my co-workers was in need of some tupperware, she just moved, so I told her I had a ton. In the same cubby where I kept the unused tupperware, I also keep my catfood. Now, I go into this cubby everyday to get catfood. On this particular day, something told me to stick my head in and turn right. OMG!!! When I did this I saw 3 empty Corona beer bottles. Wayne drank Corona. This happened about 6 weeks ago. I laughed so hard, then I started to cry. If you believe in spirits, which I do, thne you know they will send signals to you any way they can to let you know they're with you. This was one of them. I kept the beer bottles. They're on top of my cabinets, and as long as I live will always be a part of my decor. I'd love to hear from someone. Thankyou for this opportunity to share my story.

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Aug 24, 2012
My Best Friend
by: Terri

Hi Doreen, I'm so sorry about your husband. Your emotional struggle is just beginning. I still don't understand how my life is supposed ro go. You are right, one day at a time, but sometimes those days are so long. I do know I will NEVER date again, but I do know Wayne is with me all the time. Every time I get in my car lately, the song I hope you dance plays, and I know that's Wayne sending me a message. I am praying for me and you. Keep in touch


Aug 23, 2012
My Best Friend
by: Doreen U.K.

Terri I am sorry for your loss of your husband Wayne. I am baffled by some of your story. You had a good foundation for a marriage to work. A 10 year friendship. You did what any married couple would do for stability. BUY A HOUSE! You then divorced and went your own ways. You can tell by your story that YOU WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. So I can't understand you both divorcing. But I can understand about jealous interfering family members who try anything to split one up. I had this many times. My husband Steve and I went on to be married 44yrs. till he died 14 weeks ago of a deadly cancer. Steve was my HEARTBEAT. Part of me died with him. I purchased a grave for 2. I will be buried in the same burlal chamber as he is in. So many people tried to break us up. I wanted to end my life many times. But through excellent counselling I got my life back. Suicide would not bring you both together. YOU ARE BOTH TOGETHER IN SPIRIT. I do AGREE with some people get signs or things left for them. don't ask me how it works. I don't know. I was sitting in the kitchen and through the skylight came down white feathers. I keep getting white feathers. My husbands one and only sister got white feathers. Other people we know get white feathers. Just before Steve was diagnosed with MESOTHELIOMA. (lung cancer caused by working with asbestos) inoperable, incurable, aggressive. Perched on our side gate was the most beautiful white fan tail pigeon. He is our ANGEL. He is still with us and I feed him every morning. He sits still when I talk to him as if he is listening to every word. He is a COMFORT. I miss Steve so much it HURTS. Our 3 children are all Adults and living their own lives. I just live one day at a time. don't know when this grief will be over, and I get to remember some good times and not the cancer journey that lasted over 3yrs. I hope you give yourself time to grieve Wayne and go on to LIVE YOUR LIFE. Wayne would want you to be HAPPY. You will go on to feel happy again. Let Grief happen and do its work. Take one day at a time.

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