My Best Friend

by Bonnie

2010 4th of July- died June 26 2011

2010 4th of July- died June 26 2011

I lost my husband of 14 years, 18 months ago...I am still having a rough time. We had just made a major move to another state and he died 2 months later. A man that was very much in to being physically fit,diet, exercise, he went to the doctor on regular check-ups, blood work and told me once he needed to make sure he took care of himself so he could take care of me...i am the one who smoked ate what i wanted did not take care of myself to the degree he did. We were sitting out on the front porch of our new home...just talking i was getting ready to go meet up with my sister(who lost her boyfriend of 14 years 6 months earlier) we went in the house...5 min later he grabbed his head dropped to the floor and it was awful..he was gone in 5 min. I was left with nothing financially and life was going on around me ..but i was shocked, paralyzed...and i am struggling to this life has changed tremendously..i think if I did not have to worry so much about finances i could get through the grieving...but as i read all the other stories it does not matter how rich or poor you are..the grieving takes are on a roller coaster, you isolate yourself,you question your faith...even though we know that is life...your born to die eventually...i do know i am not alone and would love to feel like I was happy but i honestly feel you won' has changed me so much and i have a big family that love me and what me to be happy...i have children who i moved away from and now i just want to go back where i was to be with my children and grand children...i am a fish swimming in a fish bowl...lost..numb, paralyzed and i pray every night God will make me happy again...

Comments for My Best Friend

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Feb 28, 2013
Very sorry for your loss.
by: Anonymous

Very sorry for your loss,I lost my wife of 37 years to breast cancer and like your husband she was the one who was never sick and very health conscious.Its been 2 years and I am still struggling and somewhat in denial.I hope that you find happiness again,I'm sure that is what your husband would want.

Jan 16, 2013
Finishing Strong
by: Bonnie

I really liked your comment...that my husband finished STRONG...he really did...Thank you for putting that out there for was helps me view his death in a more positive way. It sounds odd to say that but there is so much negativity that surrounds you, when you lose someone. I pray that you will find comfort in knowing your experience has helped me today.

Jan 14, 2013
Finish Strong
by: Anonymous

It's a miserable process no matter what the circumstances. Often, yes, it's overwhelming. But, as I hear so often at church, it's important that we finish this life strong. I have been telling myself that a lot lately. Especially, those days where the loneliness is so insufferable I just sit for hours completely numb doing nothing at all. I have always been a "do-er" and my other half, definitely the same. It sounds to me like your husband lived that way. I can tell how proud you are of him, the way he lived. He got it exactly right, he finished this life strong. Now, it's your turn. You can do it . . . and darnit, so can I.

Jan 13, 2013
by: chesley

I lost my partner after 34 years. Too many changes have taken place for myself and the children. I am still in shock and wish it was a dream. I experience a lot of the I should of, could have. My family is concerned but I have no control as I am sure you don't. God be with you in times like this.

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