My big brother, my best friend , my other half is gone :(

by Liz

My brother & I were the oldest of 6 kids , being only 2 yrs apart we became best friends instantaneously. He would say that's my baby sister lol . My brother pretty much took care of all of us and when I had children of my own he loved them just as much as he loved me . He was our hero :( may 5,2005 the worst day of my life!!! I was at home making lunch when my phone rang , it was my friend , I had thought she had wanted to come by so when I answered the phone I said hello and of course you can come over, she replied LIZ!! I'm so sorry I didn't want to tell u this over the phone , but your brother was in a car accident and he didn't make it!! All I remember was screaming and cursing wishing she was lying , my heart literally fell to the floor and shattered!! I immediately called my brothers cell and it kept going to voicemail , I left hundreds of messages screaming asking him to please answer the phone . He never did . I called my mom, she was at work I told her what happen and she asked me to pick her up from work . After I pick her up I started calling everyone for help I called local pd they said there was no report of an accident , I called the highway patrol they said the same thing , I calls the sheriff they said the same thing i called the hospitals and he wasn't there , I was flipping out! I finally called a police station to a near by city and the dispatch told me that they didn't have a report of an accident but if they said he passed call the coroner , so I did. I call and a woman picks up I asked her please help me , I'm looking for my brother he might be there she asked for his name and she put me on hold , she gets back on and says to me , honey I'm soo sorry but your brother is here! I screamed NOOOOOO!! Please tell me you're lying to me and she said if you like you can come by . I just fell to the floor and cried until my eyes swelled up and forced themselves to close . It's been 9 yrs but it still feels like it was yesterday the pain is still there I can't seem to let go I miss him so much , I can't even talk about him without breaking down into a million pieces , the agony is so dreadful all I want is piece but I don't know what to do :( I cry almost everyday and am sad all the time , I manage to do things in life so I don't fall into depression but the pain is still so heavy in my heart , my brother was more to me than just my brother he was my protector my mentor my best friend and now he's gone , They say time heals , well I'm still waiting because I'm in so much pain 😢

Comments for My big brother, my best friend , my other half is gone :(

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Sep 20, 2014
Losing a brother has left a VOID in my life
by: Doreen UK

Kathy I am so sorry for your loss of your brother 4 weeks ago. Being in Denial is our way of coping with the shock. But it is so hard to come our of denial and go through the motions of grief. Often this is where a good skilled counsellor can help immensely. Either way the best way forward is ONE DAY AT A TIME. It is so very painful when we lose our close family members who were such an integral part of our lives and leave this HUGE VOID in one's life. It is so important to have a good support structure within our families. But OH so painful when we lose this. This is the time we have to dig deep and support ourselves by building ourselves up with all the good things we can do for ourselves and our families to build them up also. It is when you build up other's that you also build yourself up and the best foundation to healing.
Kathy you will recover in time, but this may take weeks to months before you feel less grief pain. But it could take years before we truly recover from our grief. FOCUS on what you need to do for yourself and caring for your brother's children will help you all come together better to form the support structure you all need.

Sep 19, 2014
I just lost my brother,my best friend, 4 weeks ago
by: kathy

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too just lost my brother and best friend. We did everything together. Holidays it was always him and his children and me and my children. Our children are grown. He died unexpectly of a heart attack 4 weeks ago. I don't know what to do. I'm feeling totally lost and alone. I'm also in deniel, it's been so unbeleivable to me. We used to talk at least 3 to 4 times a week. He was the one I called for advise, for help, for anything that was going on in my life or his life we shared. I don't know what i'm going to do without him.

Sep 19, 2014
My big brother , my best friend, my other half is gone :(
by: Doreen UK

Liz when you are in so much pain 9 yrs. later it means that you either were in denial, numb, and stuck in grief and unable to move forward.
You need to go and see a grief counsellor for support. Otherwise you may be stuck and not be able to move forward. Your grief will take time to heal from, but you shouldn't be in severe raw grief pain. The sudden shock of losing him could have been repressed. It means something is wrong.
My husband of 44yrs. dies 2yrs.4 months ago on the 5th May 2012. It took me 6 months of raw grief pain before I could move forward. I lost my mother 11yrs. ago and it has taken me 9yrs. to even look at her photo. Healing is a slow process and there is no comparison to how one heals and moves forward. but when raw grief still presents itself 9yrs. later or more. then it is time to do something about it by seeing a trained skilled counsellor for help. Your grief for your brother will then be different. It will be less painful and you will get those good memories come through. They are interfering with your pain now exploding in you.
I am so sorry for your loss.

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