My big brother

by Amber
(Idaho)

The youngest and the oldest skipping down the aisle (my brother and youngest sister)

The youngest and the oldest skipping down the aisle (my brother and youngest sister)

I spent the first part of the year wrapped up in planning my wedding, I met a wonderful guy and we were in love. The wedding came and it was amazing, my family was there my friends, and it went absolutely perfect. It was made better by my big brother, he was 23, loud, exciting, the life of any party. He danced with everyone, (country swing dance of course) I didn't want to but he picked me up and carried me back to the dance floor, it was the best dance. His stupid clown feet ripped my dress, but I didn't care, he had dressed up nice and clean, hair in a neat ponytail, and he really loved his tux for whatever reason. It was in fact the happiest day of my life. everything was perfect. I went on my honeymoon and it was a beautiful week. We had a red eye flight back home and were very tired when we got here so we went to sleep. My new husband and I were awoken by my younger sister bursting into the room saying our brother had gotten into an accident and was being life flighted. He wasn't wearing his seat belt and was thrown from the vehicle. The truck he had just bought was his dream truck, and he was driving it home, he noticed something was wrong with the front tire on his side( he was very good with vehicles) according to his girlfriend, who was with him. They tried to make it to the next exit of the freeway when the front tire just flew off, wheel, tire, everything, and they immediately went into the median, to avoid oncoming traffic on the other side of the median my brother swerved back into the median and flipped the truck, saving his girlfriends life but taking his own. His entire side of the truck was crushed, so even if he had had his seat belt on he still would have died, I remember sitting in the surgery waiting room. With hope, that yeah he was gonna be okay, there was quick response since his friend that had taken him to get the truck was following him and had seen the whole thing, and promptly called 911. We were all moved up to a different floor in the hospital after two hours or so (my entire extended family was there, and my dad on a flight back home) I knew it was bad when my mom was pulled away, and soon after just me and my next to youngest sister, I knew it was bad because they did not call in my eleven year old sister. We went to a conference room within the ICU and I walked in to my mom sitting on the floor, being held by a nurse and I knew. They told me they had lost him about ten minutes prior, and that they really tried. I believed them I held my mom, and my sister. Our world was crashing down around us, My dad didn't know, we wanted to wait to tell him. He pried it out of my mom on the phone when the pastor picked him up from the airport instead of one of his brothers, he knew, he said on the phone "is he dead" and my mom just cried "yes" he got there and we all went to see my brother. He didn't look much like him, his face was swollen and bruised, his tattoos on his chest gone from road rash, but yes it was my big brother 6'4" long hair, loud,and The toughest guy I knew was lying there just gone right in front of me. It was the first time I ever saw my dad cry, my dad is the stoic type, never a tear, til that night. It's been four months now, my marriage has been difficult but my husband is trying, I miss him everyday, he doesn't show up at random, he doesn't call at 7 in the morning. It is just empty. A positive thing happened yesterday though, which made me feel that God had a plan for him ( reinforced the idea). Yesterday my cousin was in a car accident, where the drivers side was T boned and the car totaled. The tow truck driver said he has never seen a car that damaged where the driver lived. She is leaving the ICU today, and I think she had a big bear hug of a cousin protecting her. That is how I picture him now, he was my protector before and now he protects us all in situations where no one can. I could go on forever about him but I will leave it at that...I love you big brother I miss you everyday, Happy Birthday tomorrow, I can't wait to see you again.

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