My Bird Man
(panama city fl)
I believe in my Lord, I believe he took my husband so that he would not suffer any more.
I would like to believe he is guiding me to help make me stronger, I just often wonder WHY me. To loose someone after 35 yrs is not like throwing out dirty dish water. My loss was 5-11-11, I have cried myself so hard that I get physically ill, chest pains, and if I don’t wake up, it is ok.
My Allen comes to me in my dreams, telling me it is not my time, I see him walk past the window when it is time for him to be home, but he doesn’t come in. I hear the birds that passed talking, and hounddog who passed walking on the tile floor. I did what Allen never wanted..I got a kitten..named "boo boo kitty" to help mend my broken heart.
I miss the smell of him, his beer breath, body oder, farts, snoring, and his playing with the birds, and the simple " I love you"
But most of all I am tired of people telling me that in time it will be ok. If they only knew just how impatient I really am.
Thank you for this place to put my feelings into word and not just thoughts.