My Bird Man

by sue
(panama city fl)

I come to this site every day, this is so helpful with my grieving. Today I read about cremation ideas, so touching, I have yet to open Allen's box, in a box, in a baggy. I didn't know what to expect and I really still don't know, but what I do know is that part of his ashes will forever be in me. Strange you may think, I have tattoos, my latest one is by putting his date of his journey to heaven by his character of sylvester the cat and underneath it his favorite saying "it is what it is" with just the 1st letter of each word with an ivy attaching the letters, my soul sister Delena and niece we all have the same thing in one place or another. I told the artist that I would like his portrait on my shoulder so that he will always have my back, be looking over my shoulder, and he suggested mixing some of his ashes in with the ink..so yes he will always be in me..how poetic...and when I go my ashes will be mixed with Allen as well as our beloved black lab Hound Dog..because you see we are family and will always be together. Thank you for this site, you are truly helpful.

Sue

Comments for My Bird Man

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Sep 21, 2011
With me forever
by: Zoe

John was in the hospital over a week before he lapsed into a coma. One day he said to me, you know you are going to have to Bury me, I can be buried in a military grave... and I stopped him and said No I am going to cremate you and you are staying on my dresser. He said then what, I said when I go we go together, he smiled and said I like that.
The VA hospital he was transferred to was out of State.
So he was taken, and when I went to the funeral home I picked an urn that would be sealed, and a necklace that I could wear with some of the ashes.
I wear that necklace with his ashes and another with a lock of his hair everyday. I only take them off to clean them.
His urn is in my bedroom and my Will states specifically that I am to be interred with that Urn.
How we do this is such a personal choice, I know your pain, I admire that you chose to deal with the ashes, I could not.
We carry them with us in any way we can, for they are our beloved and we are half without them.
Come here whenever you need to, we are always here, we listen and we understand
and remember when all else fails
One Breath, One Step, One day at a time

Sep 21, 2011
Your Bird Man
by: M Mack

Sue,

It's important that you do what makes you feel better. Grieving is a long process and if it helps to commemorate his life and passing in the form of tattoos, it's your choice. In time of loss, we all have reminders, shrines on the fireplace where we feel close to our loved ones. Photos, candles, some of us wear that wedding band years after our soulmate is gone, all efforts to have that hole filled in our hearts. Others have left items laying around, shoes by the back door, that special old and chipped coffee cup in the cabinet. All the reminders are there of a lost life and love, in effort to help the heart heal and feel our loved one is close. I'm not a tattoo type, and against sometime as large as a portrait, permanently on your body. I'm sure you realize that you will have that forever and you don't know what forever holds for you. I know Allen is in your heart, soul, and mind....that is really forever. Think it over, pray for strength and light to shine on your days. It will come eventually and then decide how toy wish to proceed with filling that hole in your heart. My best to you as you work towards healing and peace.

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