my brave mum forever loved and missed

by sharon
(england)

my brave mum lost her battle with cancer 2 months ago, and I miss her so so much that the pain of missing her is so unbearable that I am losing the will to carry on. I know they say time heals but i am crying more and getting lower and lower as i cannot believe it has been 2 months that i last saw her and spoke to her. I saw her nearly every day after the death of my dad 25 years ago and we were so close and had the perfect mother and daughter relationship. I said to my husband the other day that i feel that i cannot go on as all i keep seeing in my head is my mum when she was in so much pain days before she died and i couldnt do nothing for her. Last week a white feather dropped down in front of my face and landed on me, and i read that it means its a sign from a loved one that has passed away letting you know that they are ok and are watching over you. I do so hope that its true as i really need to know that she is free from pain and is with my dad in a better place. It will never ease the pain of missing her, but at least it would give me a bit of comfort, to know that maybe one day i will see her again in a better place. Until then i will have to try and find the strength to carry on somehow

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Sep 03, 2012
Never give up!
by: Anonymous

Dear Sharon,
Never give up! I know what it is like to lose a dear mother. My mom just passed away on August 19th after battling cancer for a little less than a year. For me so far, the darkest time was when we were told a few months ago that nothing could be done to cure her, and that she only had a short matter of time left to live. During the time of adjusting to that reality, I struggled with depression where there seemed to be only two feelings that I would cycle through, either feeling only pain or feeling numb. Whichever one I was in I always wanted the other - when in pain I just wanted it to stop, and when numb I wanted to feel something, anything, even pain just so I would know that I was still capable of feeling. Once, when sunk deep in pain, my own pain was all that I could think of. There seemed to be nothing else. I know what it is like to think of putting an end to that pain in a drastic way. But then it struck me that I was not the only one hurting, and me deciding I no longer wanted to carry on I would only add to the pain of everyone else around me. I realized that I have been given a gift of life and the last thing mom would want me to do was throw it away, I doubt your mom would want you to either. It is hard, it sucks, for a long time it seems as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but one day you will notice a bright spot here and there, and those moments will increase. It is worth it even though it may not seem that way now. I despite the pain I have found joy in helping support the rest of my family and in the moments that we share together. I find strength in God, every day I pray for the strength to get through the day, and I find that He is faithful to grant it. It does not mean that it easy, but I find that I can make it through and help others along the way. It is worth it! Please, never give up. I am praying for you.

P.S. A quote that my mom always held onto after the death of her own mother was "For every tear a memory, for every memory a smile".

Sep 03, 2012
my brave mum forever loved and missed
by: Doreen U.K.

Sharon I am sorry for your loss of your mum to cancer. I lost my husband 4 months ago to cancer. I nursed him for over 3yrs. He died a slow painfull death. I felt so helpless having to watch him die slowly. You keep seeing your mum in your head. I do see my husband Steve in the same way as if it is a slow motion movie playing in my mind. It feels so real.
I have had so many white feathers come down in front of me, and this is a comforting sign. Other members of my family also get white feathers. I was at my sisters house on Saturday. Over 45minute journey and in the garden a white feather fell in front of me. I felt comforted. I still get white feathers often. Be comforted by this. I am glad that you have a husband for support. It helps having supportive family and friends at this time of Grief. I often feel I can't go on anymore. But in reality I know I have to. You have a husband. this is reason enough to go on in life. It is early days. You will get your life back again. It takes time. You can only take one day at a time. Don't look too far ahead. I was married for 44yrs. and it is hard going on in life by myself. Steve lost his retirement years that he was looking forward too. He earned it by working so hard all his life for over 47yrs. then to get cancer and die of an industrial disease is cruel. I hope the days ahead will find you well supported in your grief and help you move forward one day at a time.

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