my broken heart

by Ashley Young

it was 3 weeks before my twin brother and I's 16th birthday when we arrived home from school -our mother in Glasgow and our father was working away in London- to find that our older brother had commited suicide. My brother and I were in shock, I panicked as I seen his lifeless body hanging from the banister continuesly screaming and sobbing as my twin brother cut him down and started CPR. The pain you feel, replaying that very day over and over, the sleepless nights. I just wish it would stop. you can never love someone as much as you can miss them, and oh do I miss my brother. even if this trauma has ruined my family forever and is pushing us apart, I will never stop loving him. Ever.

Comments for my broken heart

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Aug 01, 2014
My broken heart
by: Doreen UK

Ashley I am so sorry for your loss of your brother to suicide. This must have been such a painful discovery and sudden shock. In fact it would have traumatised you. Don't feel you have to suffer alone. In cases of suicide families find using a grief counsellor very helpful and supportive. I lost my nephew to suicide 9yrs. ago. He was 30yrs. and he suffered depression and couldn't live in his world anymore and so threw himself in front of an express train. My sister could not function and so a counsellor had to go to her home to pick up the pieces of a shattered life. She has recovered from her loss but she will be sad forever. These early days are the worst and you will feel that you will never recover and get your life back. But you will. I was born in Scotland so familiar with Glasgow. I now live in London for over 40yrs.
Your brother may have found life so unbearable that he wanted to end his misery and so was not able to process who he was leaving behind. He would have ended his misery by taking his own life. I feel hurt by the sadness and misery many people find themselves in that makes life unbearable. I have been there and can feel your pain and your families.
Best way forward is taking one day at a time. Get the support you need either by friends, family, or counsellor who will be impartial and support you all as a family or individually. Your heart will be broken for some time, but your heart will Heal from this loss.

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