My brother and best friend Bill
(Warwick, RI USA)
My brother Bill passed away in 2005. I loved him very much. When he died, he was 45, I was 36. He had helped me through a very bad depression and I was very sad, could do hardly anything for myself. Turns out, he had emphysema and cirrois of liver. I thought he was just depressed laying in bed for a couple weeks, he never complained of any pain. It was two weeks before Christmas and I had been going to church, I came home and got his prescription for him. Told him I loved him and said I was praying for him. He asked me if I wanted to sit with him awhile, I told him no I was tired, and wanted to go to bed. I held his hand. The next day, I went to his room and he was gone. His hands were on his lap clasped in prayer.
That man did everything he could to make my life easier. I tried to help him too. We lived together most of our lives. My mom had passed away so we lived in the house. It has been almost nine years and I can't get over it. I am on disability for depression and I am getting worse. My family is mostly all deceased and the ones still alive don't care. I drink every single day, don't cook, clean or care for myself in any way. I take pleasure in nothing, can't hold a job or even shower more than every few days. I want to sleep and never wake up, but yet barely sleep at all. My mind races constantly like I have had ten cups of coffee. I don't even get drowsy, you know that feeling of drifting off, don't get it. I am 140 pounds overweight, and poor too. I barely speak and have no friends anymore.
I need help!!!