My Brother Grant, my rock, my friend, my father and my brother...

by Samantha
(St. Peters Missouri)

My brother Grant was a drug interdiction Police Officer in St. Charles City, Missouri. He had a partner named Czar (his dog). My brother loved what he did for a living, he spent some of this career proving himself to those around him, and then as time went on, he became one of the best and so admired for his talent of intuition of catching those that transported drugs and drug money on the highways of Missouri.

He was well known throughout the community and had saved many lives and protected so many that his funeral was unbelievable, just filled with people that came so far to honor him and tell us their stories of how he made them feel. Important, someone they could trust and most of all always there to help. I knew my brother was great in my life, but had no idea of the impact he made on the public.

The last 8 years, it was just him and I left. We lost my mother and step-father and had a brother that stayed apart from us. We grew so close, he gave me strength when I needed it, I knew he would always be there for me no matter what, and he knew that of me. He always took my advice and respected me even though he was older.

My brother died on September 10, 2008 in a one car accident coming home from his shift at 2am in the morning. He just ran off the road. No signs of trying to overcorrect or to stop. Two weeks prior to his death had seized 1.3 million dollars (drug money) with his partner Czar. He just found out his wife was pregnant with their third child, and he was on top of the world.

You see, I know him so well he would have not messed up so much that he would have crashed with no explanation. The patrol car burned beyond recognition, along with the black box. I will live the rest of my life not knowing what happened, and my life friend and brother is gone and I am devastated and paralyzed with sadness.

I know how you feel about your sister, there is a unspoken understanding between siblings and the hurt goes so deep. I do not know who I am anymore, I have no identity of who I am, he was so special to me and I loved him so.

His son was born in April and his wife named him Grant after my brother. He would have been in love with this baby, he is so sweet. His oldest just turned 7 and his middle child turned 5. The oldest has Autism and my sister-in-law has her hands full. She is and was my brothers soul mate, an eternal love that not many find, my heart breaks for them every moment of every day.

I do not know how I can go on. I try to stay busy, I try to remember all of the great moments, but I have a shadow of deep sadness that I struggle with. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, she was very special like Grant. Sorry to write a novel, I just needed to tell someone my story that would get it. My heart goes out to you.