My brother Jonnie is gone.

by Sonia Holland
(Pasadena, MD)

I lost my brother on April 6, 2013. He was hit by a train in Manhattan. I miss him a lot. He would call me everyday long distance just to tell me he was still living, where he was and that he loved me and the family. We always talked about everything, our family and people. He would always say, I am going to take care of you He lived homeless by choice. Sometimes he would stay with me when he would visit. We were foster children. Separated from my mom when we were younger. However we always stayed in contact with each other. there were times when he would be living with me. It was difficult at times because they had been diagnosed with Paranoia schizophrenia. But I miss him a lot. I thought I saw him today. Someone looked just like him.

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Oct 04, 2013
My brother Jonnie is gone
by: Doreen UK

Sonia I am sorry for your loss of your brother. You seem to have had a bond that nothing in life could separate except by death.
The sadness is that he lived a homeless life which didn't help his mental illness and his mental illness would have also drawn him to the streets. He perhaps found a freedom there he could not find within the context of a close knit family which was damaged when being separated from your mother.
You will feel very lost and lonely for a long time. You may never get over your loss but you will just learn to live with this loss in time with less internal pain.
Death fractures us which is why we feel broken for a long time. Since you have lost the closeness of your relationship with your brother you need to nurture yourself and then find some supportive friends or extended family to continue your care through grief.

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