My brother & my best friend are dead
Can't believe this website exists; however, it's comforting that I'm not the only one fighting.
This past week, my life long best friend killed himself on January 13th by suffocation. We knew each other for 18 years, grew up in the same neighborhood, went to school together; the whole nine yards. I saw him on Saturday, January 11 for the last time at a breakfast we planned. I flew back to school in Los Angeles on the 11th after our breakfast. I told him I would call him everyday the following week to make sure he had a therapy appointment scheduled as I knew something was wrong. I was wrong how bad it was.
July 8th, 2012 was another awful day. My younger brother, my only sibling, died in a rock climbing accident. He fell a total of 200 feet. The fall happened in two stages - he hit a ledge after falling about 30-40 feet and was more than likely rendered unconscious, but his friends said they could hear him gasping for air. Not realizing how close he was to the edge of an even more sheer cliff, he rolled his body off the remainder of the way down and was killed instantly at that point.
I'm trying to keep positive, but my friend's suicide has ripped open old wounds. I want to quit what I'm doing and just move to the woods alone. Reclusive thoughts aside, I also want to achieve something of this existence. To show it who's boss. I just don't know how exactly I'll execute that plan, yet...