My brother would have been a grandad today

I lost my brother 7 years ago, he was out enjoying a ride on his bike when a lorry hit him. I hadn't seen him for many years before he died as we just seemed to lose touch and this is something I will never forgive myself for. I think about him all the time and all the fun things we could have done together if we hadn't of been so busy and involved with our own things. Today his daughter gave birth to her first child and it has set me off again, I think I am fine and then something comes along and throws me off track. I feel silly still getting upset about something that happened such a long time ago but it still feels like yesterday I was told. I just want the pain to go! To make matters worse, no one told us when he died, his wife and family kept it a secret to make sure they got all his money, had the funeral without us and now refuse to tell us where they have scattered his ashes, I just need somewhere or something to see or go to!!

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Jan 13, 2013
My brother would have been a grandad today
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your brother. Sadly life is so busy for everyone and the family has now become fragmented. Everyone going their own way. Doing their own thing. I would have thought that the decent thing to do would be to let you know your brother had passed away and at least let you and your family go the funeral and at least pay your respects. It is a very mean thing to do. Of course you would feel a great sense of comfort in knowing where your brother's ashes have been scattered so that you could visit that site and be at Peace.
Money is a very powerful tool after a family member dies. I am finding this more and more that families are broken by this causing great division and animosity. It becomes more about who gets what. It is also painful not seeing one's grandchildren. My husband died over 8 months ago from cancer and he has left 3 Adult children and 2 grandchildren of 2yrs. 4yrs. He won't get to see them grow up. This is a very painful VOID in my life. Life is very surreal now. I hope that someone will at least come to their senses and realise how unreasonable it is for someone to be denied seeing their loved one's place of rest. My husband's family caused so much grief for me, as if the loss of my husband wasn't enough to deal with. They wanted to control the funeral arrangements. My husband's sister said that she wished I had kept this a secret due to the conflict. But I couldn't do this. I couldn't rob a family of this right to their brother's grave. I have had my memorial stone smashed at the graveside. I have removed all the flowers. I am hoping that the stonework is not defaced in any way. My in-laws bury after 2 days. My husband lay in the funeral parlour for 20 days due to having an inquest as his cancer was due to an industrial disease. His family couldn't understand this and blamed me for trying to upset them by the delay. There is no easy way around this. I hope that you will find Peace in the midst of your pain.

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