My brother..

My elder brother passed away on 28th May 2014 from respiratory depression in his sleep. My mum called me to inform me of his death that very afternoon. We found bottles of prescription drugs in his room- codeine, to be exact.

Like AC, my brother was also financially dependent on my parents too. I was extremely angry with him, for not taking charge of his life, for allowing drugs and depression to form a vicious cycle in his life and for hurting my parents in their old age. I avoided him; I gave him the cold shoulder when I saw him (despite him trying to show his concerns for me at times) and I fumed whenever I saw him sitting around in the house in a daze from the drugs.

Now, I am overwhelmed with guilt. Looking back, I treated him the way I did because I was not in control of the situation. I gave up on him instead of giving the concerns he needed. I didn't even attempt to help him out of his situation despite knowing the drug abuse because I was blinded by my anger and inability to control the situation.

It seems all too wrong to move on with life now... I feel like I have done a great disservice to my parents and have failed them tremendously.

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