My brother's family and the fire.

by Emily
(Ohio)

On January 1st of 2010, I was woken up by my older brother banging on my apartment door. As I opened the door, he stood on the step. He said, "John, Lisa, and two of the kids died in a fire." It was abrupt, and very straightfoward.

He then told me that the family was at the hospital to determine which of the three children was still alive. It was quickly found out that Jeffrey, 5, and Valerie, 3, were the ones who had passed. Daniel, 4, was taken to a children's hospital to be treated for fire related issues.

It has came to our knowledge that my brother had installed a wood burner in their trailer, and that it had caught debris around it on fire. I have 5 siblings, and I was never very close to John or his family. He was much older than me, and he spent most of my childhood in the Navy. We didn't really get along very well.

He would annoy me by asking silly questions. I, however, would give anything for him to ask me another annyoing question. It is hard enough to deal with the deaths of two adults, but the grief for the two children that died has been overwhelming.

I thought I had "gotten over" the deaths, and could go about life. I have recently found out that I am not "over" this tragedy. I've been feeling sad, hopeless, and angry. I'm not sure what is bringing these feelings to the forefront yet again...maybe the seasons changing...maybe subtle life changes...who knows. I just felt like this was a good forum to talk about my situation, and maybe help someone else out who feels like I do...lost.