my changed life

by mary
(burnley lancs england)

how can words tell the story of how it is to lose your soulmate dont know why i am doing this it is 5 years since my soulmate passed and it still feells like yesterday sometimes i feel i cant go on we were together for 52 years how do you live a different life after so many years ? i tell myself i have been blessed so many lovely people have sorrow so much worse to bear like losing your children or your partner when young the price we pay for love is so dear but we wouldnt have been without it would we ? just ranting on here to myself trying to face the world with my im fine face on god bless you all that are grieving we will bw helped woul d like to hear what others have re belief of life going on after life here goes god bless you all mary x

Comments for my changed life

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Nov 08, 2012
feel your pain
by: Anonymous

Hi Mary, I totally understand how you feel. It has been a little over a year since my husband passed and I still miss him so much. It is like someone ripped half of me away. Time has helped a little, but it is still so strange having this new life without him. It does help to share feelings with people who are in the same situation. Wishing you peace and strength to get through this. Joanne, Chicago

Nov 05, 2012
living without him
by: helen

Yes I understand all that you say.
My darling John passed November 2011, after months of pain and borne with such humility and strength till he could take no more so much neglect from doctors etc,till too late in hospital cancer spine lung liver,bowel. He survived bowel cancer 6 years previous after major surgery and they did not bother to look into his terrible back pain.
I could say so much about it all, it is just that the pain comes over you like a wave, just when you think I will get through this, and you stop you see his face his smile hear his voice, and your brain clicks and you know he is not coming home he is not here.
Without the help of God I would not have coped with the weeks he was in hospital and the funeral it was like I was in another time and it was not real.
Our children miss him so much all 3o years and over, they are here for me but I am half a person as you say outside face and pretending things are not so bad.
I do believe in Our Lord Jesus who is coming soon, and I hold on to this I was not there when he died this is something I have been trying to cope with I feel I neglected him, but GOD sent me to the hospital the day before as he knew I believe when I asked Him to be with him He was.
Cancer is a disease of the time when the food we eat and the water we drink is so full of harmful things that are not fit for our bodies there is only one thing I can say there is a God there is hope if we believe and keep his commandments He loves us trust and may He be with all the dear ones whose stories touch our hearts, remember we are not alone and like me we have to take ONE day at a time ..

May 01, 2012
from mary
by: Anonymous

lovely helpful email from zoe it will help all on here like me and trish for a start dont always get it right on here as this emailing is new to me believe im a silver surfer but im trying please forgive bad spellings and errors took this up after my husband passed god bless you all mary x

May 01, 2012
by: Anonymous

i can feel everything you say trish even after 5 years this new! life is so hard you know you are going through it but not over it god bless you keep in touch not everyone understands do they we turn into jolly good actresses putting on our im ok mask when we go out and about , i feel your loss is like mine half of you missing xxxmary

Apr 30, 2012
The Mask
by: Zoe

Its funny, isnt it, one of the ways we start to move is to pretend. We put on the happy face we listen with no interest to those around us. For me it is like a wall a barrier. I do not want others to see my pain. Because they seem to want to tell me it will be alright, it wont be. I do not write here as often as I used to. I don't seem to need to let loose some of it as often. But that does not mean my pain is any less. Its like, in the beginning I was in the ocean and the waves were knocking me down one after another. Now, I am further out in the ocean, so there is calm the waves do not come as fast, but when they come they seem bigger, deeper and sometimes more painful.
Know we are here for you to blow off steam to anytime
and as always
one breath, one step one day at a time.

Apr 29, 2012
feeling your pain
by: Anonymous

Dear Mary, I am so sorry for your loss. It is almost 7 months since I lost my husband. Sometimes it feels like 20 years , and other times it seems like yesterday. As painful as losing him was, I am so thankful to have had him in my life. When you are feeling sad and alone, come to this web site. We understand how you feel. Wishing you peace Joanne, Chicago

Apr 28, 2012
by: Anonymous

lovely reading your e mail trish god bless you for answering mine noone can prepare you for this loss can they? email me any time and we can share our feelings god bless you love mary xx

Apr 27, 2012
Ours Lives Have Changed Forever
by: TrishJ

It will probably feel the same in 5 more years. I don't know why but I thought when the 1 year anniversary came I would be blessed with some much needed relief to this intense pain.
The pain is so deep because we loved so deeply. It's difficult moving on without them. I don't like anything about my "new life." I just turned 60 and most days I feel much older. I've been a widow for almost two years. I don't even like that word......widow.
The only comfort I find is to know that my husband is waiting for me and we will be together again some day.
God bless you. I hope you find something to smile about today. It's a lonely journey.
Hugs to you.

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