my dad and my best friend

by Luis Carreno
(Palo Alto, CA)

My dad passed away on Sunday night June 1, 2014 around 7pm, he was not sick but had difficult time breathing, they rushed him to the hospital and he died twenty five minutes later. He was in Caracas, Venezuela where he lived with my mom and my brother. I saw him last year when he came for my daughter’s graduation from college. We spoke on Saturday as we did every weekend and he sounded happy, he was funny as always and there was not one sign or symptom of illness. He walked in to the hospital and die 25 minutes later. His departure has created an empty feeling which I cannot control and I cannot quit thinking of him the memories of my child hood have been present since I heard the news, in particular one memory when I must have been five or six years old and thinking about my father’s death. I remember being so sad, scare and worry for him and hoping that day never came.
That day came two days ago and it is worst than I ever expected it to be, my dad was 76 years old. I spoke to him on the telephone every weekend and I look so forward to these calls I could always be open with him about anything because he was such a good listener, I am so sad that this weekend it will be different he will not be there to answer the telephone. I do not remember the last time I cried but these past two days I have not been able to control this feeling and I just begin crying especially when I see or hear something that remains me of him, last night it was a Johnny Cash song, Sunday Mornings…
My dad was my friend, a fantastic grandfather, a good listener, a caring loving individual and forever my hero. I miss you lots and hope that you are happy and at peace wherever you are, Love you dad.

Comments for my dad and my best friend

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Jun 17, 2014
Thank you
by: Anonymous

I have read your comforting messages several times now, thank you so much! It has been a very difficult time, just like yesterday thinking that I wanted to speak to my dad about the soccer game, I just can not believe that he is gone. Again thank you so very much.

Jun 04, 2014
my dad and my best friend
by: Doreen UK

I am so sorry for your loss of your father to a sudden death 2 days ago. This is the worst pain ever in life. None of us on this site could have anticipated what the pain of grief was like till we had to face it. It is such UNBEARABLE PAIN. You feel as if you will never recover and will feel like this forever. It is the worst feeling in the world to lose a close loved one like a father or mother. They are parents/nurturers and give us our sense of identity and who we are as people, as we develop within the family.
If you find yourself struggling you can always get support from a grief counsellor who is skilled in helping us move forward taking the edge off of the raw grief.
I nursed my husband of 44yrs. for over 3yrs. with the worst cancer ever and he died 2yrs. ago. I could not function for the first 6 months. 2yrs. on I still struggle with LONELINESS. I can remember well how I felt days after I lost him. I couldn't get rid of the pain if I tried. I was so busy preparing the funeral arrangements that I did not feel the full wrath of grief till 4 weeks later. As long as I kept moving I was O.K. when I stopped I thought I would disintegrate into pieces. nothing ever prepares us for this moment. Thoughts will come rushing through your mind of your life with your father and you will miss his presence every day. My husband died on a Saturday, and I still can't get through this day without feeling the deep sorrow and loss, and desperation of wanting him back. You will have good days and bad days. The only way forward is to TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME. Crying is good grief and is where our healing comes from. WE are seeing so many programmes on our TV of DEATH and how people are coping. It is as if there is a rapid epidemic of death all around us. People have been dying every day. But we didn't hear of it much. Suddenly the news is full of death. TV coverage is of people dying of some disease. There are times I feel all alone with my grief as many of us do. Then suddenly engulfed with so many sad stories of loss and sorrow. You will in time have better days and recover from grief.

Jun 03, 2014
Dear Luis,
by: Anonymous

I lost my father suddenly last year. I understand your pain, your sadness and the shock of it all. I also have wonderful memories of my childhood, and my father was a sweet, kind man. I learned so much from him and my children did too. We were blessed to have had him in our lives. I still cry a lot, and the void in my life is huge- I honestly can't believe that he is really gone. I miss him so, so much. I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you will be able to find some peace in the coming days. Barb

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