my Dad just died of a heart attack

by Nathan
(Auckland, NZ)

My Dad died of a heart attack about 3 days ago...Im still in shock and today i havnt even shed a tear..though the last couple of days I have had quite a few cries, I dont think the pain has quite set in yet, but its more shock and
disbelief. We havnt had the funeral yet, but I spent the morning writing my eulogy which I found really theraputic. My Dad was a really good Dad, and we had a very good relationship, and Im glad I showed him respect in the end, as I realised what he did for our family. My poor Mum will find it so hard, but luckily my brother and his girlfriend moved back home recently. Dad died suddenly of a major heart attack, and was induced into a coma for 2 days before
passing in the early morning, as he didnt respond very well to a particular drug. His heart was really badly damaged and would have required huge surgery, so In a way Im thankful he has passed, as he was the type of man who would have loathed just sitting around not been able to do much. The doctors said there was subsantial damage to the heart, and about 4 vessels that were blocked, aswell as the aorta being damaged. I guess knowing my Dad was a good strong Christian man helps with the pain, but its still hard, and I know Im going to be grieving for months and years to come.
So sad, but I know hes in a better place now

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my Dad just died of a heart attack

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Jan 03, 2013
 my dad died suddenly to
by: paul

hello there just come across this forum as i was looking into heart & kidney disease.

My dad passed suddenly on 23rd june 2012 at 9 oclock in the morning, i had only been down the pub 2 days before with my friend who had just lost his dad, i had the phone call from my mum at work and got straight to the hospital but i was too late, he died at home while my mum went upstairs to get some bits for my dad as he had a cold, she tried cpr and carried on until the ambulance arrived.

It still hasn't sunk in and a cry lots especially when i look at photos, my dad was 63 and the best dad i could have asked for he made me proud, i miss everything about him including the bickering we used to, its really hard trying to accept whats happened and in some way wished he had been ill so i could have told him how much i loved him, he had a heart attack 8 weeks previous and also had a kidney removed when he was just 21, doubt i ll ever get over the emotions i go through everyday, hes the first thing that comes into my head in the morning and i say goodnite to his photo every nite. I cant seem to cope going round to my mums house anymore as its just my dad everywhere, my mums not coping too well either, shes coming up 60 in September and she just looks as though theres something missing in her, dad was her best mate and where married for 40 years :-(
Sep 27, 2012
 Just lost my dad last night
by: Anonymous

My dad died last night suddenly. Even though he was 90, his death has caused us all a huge amount of grief. I just want to hug and kiss him again and talk to him about everything. My heart is broken. I wish god would show me that he's with my mom and happy.
Aug 17, 2012
 the pain sets in
by: Anonymous

ok so its been 3 weeks since my father passed away, and the numbness has worn off and now the pain is setting in. This evening I cried for about half an hour solid, realising that I will never be able to spend time with my Dad again. Every time I look at a photo of him it sets me off and the pain is unbearable. I dont know how Im going to cope, it just is horrible :(
Jul 30, 2012
 Don't be discouraged if the way you feel now doesn't stick around.
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, just like the rest of us. I felt a lot like you in the first week....crying sometimes, but a lot of the time feeling strong, and mature, and reflective about all the positive memories. I wrote my dad's eulogy too, and even managed to get through most of it with a strong voice.
I don't feel that way now....I don't want that to discourage you. It was the shock. I almost felt guilty for not collapsing on the floor, and not even seeming as distraught as the rest of my family. Would they think I didn't love him as much as they did? I hope that you be able to feel thankful for that window of 'good pain'...that time when your heart shows you mercy until you're ready to take it on.
The shock wears off, and the true pain sets in. If this happens to you after a bit of time passes, just know that we are all experiencing it too, and we're here.
I wish you comfort.
Jul 29, 2012
 My Dad just died of a heart attack
by: Doreen U.K.

Nathan I am so sorry for the loss of your father. You say you are in shock and disbelief. this is the first stages of grief. I am glad you found writing the Eulogy a therapeutic experience. It will have given you the chance to express your feelings and honour your father and is a positive effect in grief. Your grief journey will be painfull. The more the Love the deeper the grief. This is different for everyone. Your grief experience as an Adult child will be different from your mother's as she has lost a husband. If your mother is finding it hard try and get her to see a grief counsellor. This will allow your mother the time and space for herself to get the support she needs whilst she is grieving the loss of her husband. I have lost my husband 11 weeks ago to terminal cancer which lasted over 3yrs. We were married 44years. the pain and sorrow is very difficult and ongoing each day. Our whole world has been turned upside down. Your mother will find change hard to cope with. As we get older we are set in our ways and trying to change now so late in life will be hard. But not impossible. We have no Choice but to go on in life and do our best. Knowing that we are only passing through this life. If your father was a Christian this will make you happy because you will see your father again in eternity. If your mother has her faith this will help carry her through the difficult days ahead. The Church and Pastor can become an invaluable support sturcture at this time. I hope that you will be able to cope with your grief in the days ahead Nathan and that you will become stronger through this journey accepting that your father is out of pain and home Free with His Lord.

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