My dad my heart & soul

by Tanya
(Ms)



Today is June 25 2013 and on June 21 Saturday my dad didn't answer
The phone and my sister was in Biloxi which was 2 hours away and she
Asked me to check on daddy.. Well I had a bad feeling in my stomach
That something was wrong so I leave work to go check on him and walk
In to find my daddy was dead. This was the most horrible feeling in my life!
I cried non stop on night and we buried my father today. My life doesn't feel
Normal anymore and I'm weak and numb.. I keep wanting one more day to tell
Him how I feel or just 5 minutes. My heart is broken. I feel like I can't breathe
Sometimes. What do I do? I love him so much and it hurts knowing that I will
Never hear his voice again or kiss his head.. I wanta get the strength
To go back to work but how??

I'm lost
Tanya

Comments for My dad my heart & soul

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Jul 23, 2013
Hope
by: Anonymous

My deepest condolences to you and your family Tanya. Being the one who found your dad is one of the hardest things to go through, let alone losing someone that you love and announcing the news to your loved ones.

If you put yourself in your family's position, it is one of the hardest news to receive, but what gives me solace is the fact that your sister and the family heard the news from a loved one - that loved one being you.

Going through the same process right now, losing a loved one is one of the hardest things we have to go through - as if it were a rite of passage.

If I do have any advice that I may pass on is to take this time for yourself - this time of mourning is sacred....and it is yours. Take the time you need, and please don't allow society or others to dictate how much time you should take or what you should do.

It has been just over a year since my father has passed and it has been quite a journey so far. But there are signs I have seen...and felt...and if you can calm your soul and call out to him, he will send you a sign...one that is unique to you, that he knows you will recognize. It could be a song, a saying someone says that feels as though it were something he would say, a scent, it could be anything...but it will be something unique to you that you will recognize. And the same will happen for your sister.

The one thing I have been doing over the last year has been to do little things to honor him. I gave some of his clothes and accessories to a charitable organization that helps the poor because he is a generous soul. Another time I invested in the stock market and I sent a message to my dad saying that whatever I made as a profit that day I would donate half of it to an organization. It was a very good day.

When came the time to choose where to donate I remembered how much he loved children, so I made a donation in his name to the Montreal sick kids foundation. And until this day I find ways to honor him, to thank him and to try my best to be as good a person as he was.

And these things you do are things that you can do which are again unique to your dad - to things you did together, to things you shared and things that will be a way of honoring and remembering your father for who he was / is, and thanking him.

If you and your father liked taking walks for example, you can train for a marathon that's for a cause he believed in, not only by donating to the marathon, but by running in it in his name.

I hope that this helps, and if you decide to dive deep into this process, then you will be one of the few who will see what truly holds on the other side of this.

My condolences once again to you and your family.

Phoenix

Jul 05, 2013
Losing my dad
by: Anonymous

I lost my dad on June 14th of this year after moving him in with me 3 yrs ago.....I cant stop crying and wanting him back....just for a minute....I am completely and totally devastated....I cant see me getting past this anytime soon.....I dont know what to do with me.....I just want him back....I am sorry for your loss....I wish you well....

Jun 29, 2013
Grief is so hard
by: Doreen U.K.

Tanya Chest pains and other pains is normal when suffering grief. My daughter gets them bad. I also get them and I do have heart trouble but everything is normal. My biggest problem at the moment is high blood pressure. I am on medication for this. It won't come down so I have to have a blood pressure monitor fitted for 24hrs recording. Grief causes so many physical and emotional problems.
Take everything at a normal pace. e.g. don't force yourself to go to the house or do anything till you are ready to take it on even if this be many months. One day you will just get off the couch and realise that "Today I feel like doing this or that" and when you don't feel like doing it you will know this also. You have the freedom to make your own choices when you are able and not have this dictated to you either by anyone. Grief and loss is so HARD. Today is Saturday the day of the week my husband died and I can remember everything that took place on that day. My daughter took the day off work not realising it was the last day her father lived. I now hate Saturday's and the weekend. I feel like I am on a strange planet and I want to go back to where I was comfortable and happy. The very atmosphere of life has changed. Everything feels strange. You may experience this as part of grief. Life does change forever. These are early days for you. don't look too far ahead. Take one day at a time and you will find yourself being able to handle each day. Time passes and you will get your life back. But there will always be someone missing from your family circle and this is what hurts. Best wishes.

Jun 28, 2013
My dad my heart & soul
by: Doreen U.K.

Tanya I am sorry for your loss of your dad. This is a horrible time for you and your family. You will feel deep pain and sorrow for the next few weeks/months after losing someone as close as a dad. Let that grief come. Cry all you need to and feel the pain till you start to feel the healing. You can't be expected to go back to work till you are ready. My daughter had to have 2 weeks off work and even this was not enough, but she had to go back in order to keep her job. I lost my husband to cancer 14 months ago. My 3 Adult children felt the pain and sorrow as nothing ever before and now trying to heal from the loss of a father. It somehow still feels as if it didn't happen. It is all a dream. We get up every morning and the house is empty and lonely. I can't watch football, and boxing and all the sports my husband loved and enjoyed. It still hurts even after 14 months. You will go through difficult days but you do get good days in between the bad days. You may lose your motivation to do certain jobs or things you used to enjoy. Don't force yourself. this is the one time to give yourself permission to do only those important things you can't put off and leave the rest till you are ready to take them on again. This is what I did. I then started to do 2 jobs at least every day. If there was a day I couldn't manage to do anything then I did nothing. I curled up on the couch and slept or watched TV. These 2 jobs cause a diversion and give us space from grief for a while. Be patient. You will soon heal from your loss. but you will miss your father FOREVER. The pain will just get less. I wish you Peace and comfort from your loss of your Dad.

Jun 27, 2013
So lost
by: Tanya

Thank you so much for your kind words. And I am so sorry for the both of you. This pain feels like an unbearable pain. I feel like a part of my heart is gone. We were so close. I really am trying to move forward BUT it's do hard. Is chest pains normal? I know he is in a much better place and I'm really trying to understand and not be selfish. Just so very hard.... Today I went to my sisters and I could actually laugh and talk about the good times without crying so much.., I'm trying to go to work tomorrow. I'm just so scared. I have an awesome husband who has experienced the loss with his mother so he is really a great support. I so wanta feel normal but I just don't know if I will ever be the same person I was once before. Everyone keeps saying time but I'm so mentally drained and takes every bit of energy to get off the couch. I haven't even been able to go to house and don't know if I can yet..,
Thanks Tanya

Jun 27, 2013
I am so sorry
by: Anonymous

Dear Tanya,

I am so sorry to read about your father. I have been on this website for five months now, getting comfort and strength from the people who post here. I lost my Dad in January, also suddenly, like you. It has been the most awful time for me because my Dad and I were very close. Even though I have a wonderful husband, and two beautiful kids, the loss of my Dad in my life has been almost unbearable at times. I can't tell you that it ever gets better, but it does get easier with time. I still cry almost everyday, and the suddeness of it all just overwhelms me. I have to take comfort knowing that my Dad did not suffer - he collapsed and suffered Cardiac Arrest. You are not alone in your grief, and I hope you find comfort here. I wish you peace. Barbara

Jun 27, 2013
I'm sorry for your lost
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry my dear, but remember he's alive close your eyes and feel his energy his spirit next to you. Your father will never leave you, we live to our next life where they're no pain but full of love. I know its hard I lost the love of my life my daughter Michelle in her sleep 8 months ago, and my dad 7 months before her passing. The pain will never go away, but we need to honor and go on, because life is temporary, so do all you can that is good, we will see our love ones again, believe that!locket

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