My dad

My dad died in feb, i live with my in laws and husband, they don't care that I am grieving and in immense pain. I feel like I am going crazy, did I imagine it? I know I didn't. Yet they behave as if nothing happened They don't want me to spend time with my own family. It is as if he didn't die, they don't sit with me or hold me. No food is made for me and I'm ignored. I'm so lost. Insulted and let down. My dad was a brilliant man in so many ways but they are making me feel like they don't care about his memory or even me. No one cares. I have told my family and they don't believe me because my in laws pretend that they care to my mum yet haven't called her to ask how she is coping.
This doesn't feel right. It is wrong but they don't want to listen or care enough to hear my pain.

Comments for My dad

Click here to add your own comments

May 06, 2012
In the same boat
by: Danny's Daughter

I understand exactly what you are going through because I am going through the same thing. It's a HORRIBLE feeling to be ignored & cast aside when you are hurting so much. My father died on April 19, 2012 & all my husband could do was argue with me about how much gas money I needed to get to & from my parents house which is only 15 minutes away (while HIS parents house is 40 minutes away & I NEVER say a thing)!!!! His parents never called, sent a card or flowers, NOTHING, no condolences of ANY kind to myself OR my mother after having us as in laws for 7 years!! How's THAT for insulting?! All I can say to help ease your pain (if in fact I can do that at all since I know it's going to take YEARS) is to try to just understand that's how your in laws are. Some people can't empathize with other people's pain& as selfish as that may be it's just something you're going to have to learn to live with since you do live with them. One day it will be their turn to grieve & maybe then they will understand the pain you were feeling at that time although I wouldn't count on it because they will probably still be only thinking of themselves. For now DON'T let them keep you from talking to & grieving with your family. You need them now more then ever & they need you! It will help to talk about all of the sweet & loving memories you all shared with your father. Those are the memories which will keep your father alive in your heart. I wish you well & please don't feel so alone because you do have your family. Don't break that bond.

Apr 12, 2012
Thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you Sheila, when I read your comments, it was a day when no one had spoken to me and I was feeling really sad and forgotten. Your kind words reached out and touched me. Thank you.

Apr 07, 2012
My Dad
by: Anonymous

Please find help away from a sick family and environment, every one has the right to grief. if they can not understand your pain and they do not treat you well, find a shelter somewhere that you can be helped and move forward with your life.

Apr 06, 2012
Grief is a unwelcome guest
by: Sheila Strassburg

First let a stranger offer her condolences for the loss of your Father. I am sorry you are in such pain, sorry you are feeling alone in this.

Please take my advice and talk with your Mother about your grief and let her tell you about hers. Please do not expect your In-Laws to understand. It is now you are finding out that the old saying, "Blood is thicker than water." It rings true for you. They don't have your history, or your life memories or experiences that you have with your beloved Dad. They can not understand, nor can they put themselves in your place without those connecting memories.

Some people do not do well with grief, they shun it. They shut it out... and in doing so they shut you out too.

Please talk to someone other than those who can not or will not give you solace. You will honestly be disappointed. Do not turn to those who have no idea how you are feeling for comfort. Talk to GOD. Talk to you Mom... read the articles and coping strategies on this site for further solace.

God Bless you. May he send his comforting angels to lift your spirits and emotions a little each day as you strive to remember your Dad in all the wonderful and positive way you can.

Much Love, Sheila

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Dads.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!