My Dane Adam

by Leah
(Moorhead, Mn)

I lost my beautiful son Dane almost 2 months ago now. I feel lost and like I am walking around in a nightmare most of the time. I tried to do the thank you cards yesterday and lost it when I read one from his friends. I begged and pleaded for God to give him back to me. If I could just have another hour, I would give anything for that!

I always worried so about him. I think I knew he would not live a long life. I tried to chalk it up to just being paranoid, but I never worried so about my other 2 boys. I read a story once about a mother who worried about her son the same, and he died at a young age too. I got so scared reading that and tried to talk about it with my husband and he just told me I was paranoid and I thought yes, that's got to be it.

I was with my Dane when he died. We were at his house with him and his girlfriend and my husband and myself. We heard a huge explosion and looked over to his neighbors house to see someone totally engulfed in flames. It was a 12 year old boy and Dane and his Dad took off running to help.

It all happened so fast that it's kind of blurry but my Dane fell and didn't get back up. We thought he was just knocked out and when we turned him over he was breathing still, long jagged breaths, and we thought he would take a very deep breath and come to. When he started tuning purple we started to do CPR. It was then that the ambulance came and they shocked him with the paddles. It had not crossed our minds that his heart had stopped.

I want so much for him to walk through my front door. He was always so good to me and we did a lot of things together. I can't believe that I have to live the rest of my life without him. Did anyone else have a bad feeling about their children before they passed?

Comments for My Dane Adam

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Sep 27, 2010
same name
by: Anonymous

My son is also a Dane Adam he was 23 and was killed 3 yrs ago in auto accident. It's been 3 yrs and my grief is more then ever. The reality of not seeing him is torment for me every minute of the day. I MISS HIM MORE THAN LIFE. I don't know how much more I can take I'm so tired of being sOOOOOOOOOOOO very SAD. Sorry for you Dane Adams are very special. Mine was. Debra

Jun 12, 2010
Sons death
by: Brenda Mack

Yes, I knew in my head that I would bury my son, and on May 21, 2010 that fear came true. But my son was diabetic and did not take care of himself. So I guess my fear was justified. But knowing in your head that you will have to bury your son is not the same as accepting it in your heart. My heart doesn't want to accept this. My pain and hurt is beyond description. May our sons rest in peace.

Jun 08, 2010
I knew in the back of my mind
by: Mark

My prayers are with you all, I just recently lost my son, best friend and business partner. He was 30 years old with the whole world ahead of him. I am lost and broken. I had this feeling all along that something unsettling was going to happen and it did.

Jun 07, 2010
by: Becky

I am not sure what to say...I lost my daughter Nicole April 2009. They put a pace maker in her and she was died 2 days later in younger brothers arms. The hurt, the pain is so bad.. but with each passing day it does tame a little. Let yourself feel. I didn't I stuffed everything. When you carry a child, that child's heart beats with ours and when they are taken from us it's like a part of ours stops beating too. Let yourself feel anything at that time. I still cry but tears are getting better.

Jun 01, 2010
I also had a feeling....
by: Sharyl

I lost my 26 year old son on March 13, 2010. He hadn't been sick but he was over weight and about 3 weeks before he died I had talked to him about losing some weight because I thought his breathing had changed and I was concerned he would start having health problems as he got older.

Ironically he went to the doctor 1 week before he died for a check-up. They talked about him losing weight but his blood pressure was under control and the doctor didn't seem concerned with his breathing, so I actually felt some what better.

On March 13, he had a normal day watching sports on TV. Late the afternoon he took a 2 hour nap and got up from that, went to the bathroom. He walked back into his bedroom and collasped on his bedroom floor. His older brother helped him off the floor, he took a couple of breaths and stopped breathing. His brother did CPR until paramedics arrived, they could not save him. The autopsy showed he had an enlarged heart and it simply gave out.

For the past 2 years as Andrew had gained weight I was so worried for him, I prayed to God each night to keep him safe and now he is gone.I wish I had done more to help him.

May 21, 2010
Sudden Loss of Child
by: Donna

Leah, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I always worried about something happening to Kevin. I don't know if it is just part of being a mom that we tend to worry about something bad happening to our kids because that is the worse thing that can happen to anyone.

I felt that something wasn't right with Kev and I went over to his apartment to check on him and when he didn't come to the door and I couldn't get in I called 911.

I knew what they were going to say when they come out and it was as if this was what I was expecting to happen since he was a little boy. He was my only child so I have no one to compare my fears against.

It has been 9 months and I still cry for him every day even though I am good at hiding it from other people.

Unless someone has gone through a loss such as ours they can't really understand what we are going through. The best advice I can give is to reach out to others that loved Dane and share your memories and talk about him and what he meant to you.

My younger sister has been the person that I can say exactly how I feel about Kevin's death and everything that has happened since then. I can cry with her and share my pain and also my anger at why this happened to him and to me. I also can share all the happy memories of Kevin and laugh together when we talk about how Kevin always was able to find the humor and irony in almost everything.

I pray that as time goes on that things get easier for you; coming to this web page is a good step in coping with the pain.


May 19, 2010
I had a feeling too
by: Terri

My daughter just passed on May 13, 2010. In February she complained of a cold and told me her lymph nodes were swollen. When I saw her neck I knew that something terrible was going to happen. I no longer could see a future for her, I just saw a blank spot. So yes I know about your feeling. My heart goes out to you, for I can feel your pain.

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