My Dane Adam
I lost my beautiful son Dane almost 2 months ago now. I feel lost and like I am walking around in a nightmare most of the time. I tried to do the thank you cards yesterday and lost it when I read one from his friends. I begged and pleaded for God to give him back to me. If I could just have another hour, I would give anything for that!
I always worried so about him. I think I knew he would not live a long life. I tried to chalk it up to just being paranoid, but I never worried so about my other 2 boys. I read a story once about a mother who worried about her son the same, and he died at a young age too. I got so scared reading that and tried to talk about it with my husband and he just told me I was paranoid and I thought yes, that's got to be it.
I was with my Dane when he died. We were at his house with him and his girlfriend and my husband and myself. We heard a huge explosion and looked over to his neighbors house to see someone totally engulfed in flames. It was a 12 year old boy and Dane and his Dad took off running to help.
It all happened so fast that it's kind of blurry but my Dane fell and didn't get back up. We thought he was just knocked out and when we turned him over he was breathing still, long jagged breaths, and we thought he would take a very deep breath and come to. When he started tuning purple we started to do CPR. It was then that the ambulance came and they shocked him with the paddles. It had not crossed our minds that his heart had stopped.
I want so much for him to walk through my front door. He was always so good to me and we did a lot of things together. I can't believe that I have to live the rest of my life without him. Did anyone else have a bad feeling about their children before they passed?