My Daniel - Died suddenly from heart failure.

by Cheryl

Tuesday 26th July 2011

Today I said good-bye to Daniel, my first-born son.

I went to the mortuary to look one last time at his face
I wanted to take him home away from that terrible place
I wanted to hold him close and hope he would awake
I wanted to believe it was all a horrible mistake
Flesh from my flesh, blood of my blood, I felt such wrenching pain
How can his birth and death both feel exactly the same?
44 years ago handed to me, warm and soft - wrapped in a swaddling cloth
44 years later shown to me, cold and hard -wrapped in a mortuary cloth.

I took a pair of scissors and cut off a lock of his hair
And put it in an envelope to keep forever more.
Then I cut off a lock of mine and twined it upon his head
So he would have me with him even when he was dead.
No more will he tell me “I love you mum”
No more will I see my first-born son.
No more will my heart ever again be whole
For part went with him when death took his soul.

Loved with a love beyond all telling
Missed with a grief beyond all tears

"Close your eyes now goodnight, in your bed soft and white
All the creatures of the day must have rest from work and play.
Close your eyes now goodnight, you will see paradise
Close your eyes now goodnight, you will see paradise."

Born Saturday 9:00am 20th August 1966
Died approx. 11:00am Sunday 24th July 2011
Saw him at the Sir Charles Gardiner Hospital Mortuary on Tuesday morning 26th July 2011
Autopsy performed Wednesday 27th July
Body released to funeral directors Thursday 28th July
Cremation held Monday 1st August 2011
Ashes delivered Thursday 4th August

.... and every second of every day ever since then I cry a little and die a little more.....

Comments for My Daniel - Died suddenly from heart failure.

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Mar 01, 2012
by: momma anne

your post brought tears to my eyes, the love we have for our children and grandchildren can not be compared to anything. I lost my almost 3 year old grandson in Jan this year, I wish it had been me instead, I have lived a good life and he was just starting life.
What happened to your son? what was he like? tell us about him. you need to talk about him, talk to him and grieve. That is hard for me to say and do but, I try to be strong for my family and it's so hard.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, if you would like to talk/email I will listen I may not have answers but, I'm a good listener. Ann

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