My Danny - Today the ice broke again

by Cheryl

I told my first story on 26th July 2011 when My Daniel died suddenly from heart failure. He was 44. Time has only deepened my grief.

Today I am so so sad. I can't stop crying. I miss my son so much. I just want him back. It's like a gigantic black chasm has split my heart apart. And today the grief is overwhelming.
Every day is not like this. I can go for days and skate along the thin ice of grief. Then suddenly the ice cracks and I find myself spiraling down into deep despair. I don't just cry - I sob deep wracking spasms that shake my whole body.
I cannot resolve my grief yet - his beautiful wife, my beloved daughter-in-law, whom he was caring for, has terminal cancer. I have taken over as her carer but now she has only a few months left to live.
I am like a blind person, stumbling along each day, trying to find my way.
There's nothing more to say. I feel so empty, yet full of sadness.
No-one, not even God, can stop the ice from cracking.

Comments for My Danny - Today the ice broke again

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Nov 02, 2012
Thinking of you today
by: SoSadDad

Cheryl, I know this isn't a birthday, anniversary or other special day, at least that I know of. But I want you to know that someone is thinking of you today, of the terrible loss of Danny. And I pray that things are not worse, but at least stabilized, for your daughter-in-law. Don't give up on life, don't give up on God. Know that you are loved by this pitiful but understanding family of bereaced parents.

God bless you,


Apr 27, 2012
Breaking Ice
by: Anonymous

Dear Cheryl,

What can be said that hasn't already been said by those of us who have had a loss so intense it plucks out the heart? I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your words are full of palatble pain. I know of this pain. Our son died of suicide some years ago though it often feels like it was last month. The pain is always there and there are quick reminders with a fleeting thought. Time does not heal all wounds, but in my humble opinion it does wax and wan in intensity which is a relief. Good memories surface and we can smile about those, but just as quickly, there can be tears. So strange, right? I have my former life - before loss - and my life now, after loss. This truth may be hard to accept, but no matter how much you love your son, the God of heaven loves him more. I have learned so much since my son died and I would love to chat with you if you are willing to write me at: There is hope ahead! Blessings, GT

Apr 25, 2012
I am in that same place
by: Linda

I too Cheryl am in that same place. I lost my daughter Alana on August 23, 2010. I miss her so much that the grief is almost too much to stand. I find after a year and a half, nothing has changed except for missing her more.
I try and do everything I do in honor of her memory.
I will pray for you and think of you, and know that I am there sharing your pain.

Apr 19, 2012
My broken hearts breaks even more for you...
by: SoSadDad

Cheryl, I know a little of what you are feeling, and it's not good at all, and it seems like there's no hope. My daughter Melanie died at 31 on 9/20/2009. Then I worried for Jennifer for 20 months before she died at 28 on 7/16/2011. Like you, I'm broken, seemingly beyond repair. A few good days are wiped out by any little thing that triggers my emotions. I wonder about God, too. Why one, yes, but my God, why both? Still, I hang on His word for a chance of hope again. Please don't give up on Him. I can't think of any reason worth one or both of my girls. But we don't know His ways, and they are not like our's. Cheryl, we will never stop grieving, and probably will always be triggered to tears without notice. But for me, I must survive and maybe one day thrive; not just for me, but for my girls. You and I know that our children want us to continue with our lives, and as hard as thAt is, I will do it. Please commit to honoring your son this way. I must admit that you have an extremely difficult several months ahead of you, as you care for your daughter-in-law. She is grieving her husband, you are grieving your son, and you are grieving the likely loss of her, as well. Please, in your grief and despair, pray to the Lord for relief and faith. Don't ask for understanding as it won't come. But submit to faith; it's our only hope. God bless you!

Apr 19, 2012
understanding your pain
by: Cathy

Hi Cheryl, i don't have words to comfort you. what a situation to be in. you are so deep in grief that i can feel for you, but what you are expecting more in a few months, i just don't know what to say. I only pray that god makes you really strong to handle all this. I have lost my 21 year old son Brandon on 18th October 2011 due to heart attack so i can understand the pain you are going through but your second part is even more difficult. god bless you i will pray for you.

Apr 19, 2012
Hearts of gold
by: Anonymous

My dear, am so sorry for your loss,I think no one can understand your situation but only who lost a beloved son or daughter or parents ,,,Ohhhhhhhhhh I lost my youngest son he was only 26 yrs old on 21/2/2011,he was the kindest person he loved everybody and he was my life ,I do have other children ,Ohhhhhhhh I miss him so much,,pls take care of yourself and your family,,.

Apr 18, 2012
same way
by: Nettie

I am sorry for your loss my husband died feb15,2012 from a massive heart attack he was 44 yrs old. He never complained of chest pains. in mins he was gone He was fine the whole day and in 20 min his heart failed. people said time heals the heart. But I am really tired of hearing that. We been married for 19 yrs with 4 children. everyday seems like a chalenge to me. I pray that your daughter in law beet this cancer your in my prayers.

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