My Darling Father
by Ruth Castellanos
I left everything, my work, my mother, my precious dog and companion, my country, my things, every thing and ran to stay with him. I spent what was the most horrible and wonderful weeks with my father. They were horrible because he suffered, he was scared, he was confused and I was devastated to know that my father was dying, that he wasn't getting up, eating; and slowly watching him die. On the other hand it was wonderful, because I got to know him better, I asked him questions I never had the chance to ask him and I spent every possible moment with him. My sister and I were there from the time he was awake to the time he fell asleep, from the day he became sick to the very second he died. My Darling Father blessed me and my sister telling us he was ready and he was not scared and later fell in what we believe was a diabetic coma. As we spoke to him, cried and stayed by his side. He cried, he sighed and he sometimes smiled. I knew he could hear us, I knew he felt our love and I knew he was grateful. The last time my father held my hand was when I was crying by his side with my hand in his and as I said, I don't know if I can do this...he found the strength to gently squeeze my hand and ever so softly shook it twice like he used to and I heard him in my mind say "Fuerza", "Strength" like he used to say to me, it meant to stay and be strong. I owe it to him and to that last moment that I got through and I am still getting through his loss. My Darling Father Fernando Castellanos sweetly and peacefully went to Heaven to meet with God at 8 o'clock a.m. on June 27th, 2010. May God grant you, Eternal Happiness in Heaven and may he comfort us through your immense loss. Te quiero, te amo, te adoro...te adoro como un tesoro! Ruthita
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