My Darling never came home from work.

by Carolyn
(United Kingdom )

My partner of 19 wonderful years, did not come home from work on the 9th April 2013 . I was pacing the floor , and phoning him, but no answer, I knew something serious was happening. A neighbour and work mate of my partner knocked on my door to tell me that there had been a fatal accident, and told me to call the police, not long after the police came to my house to tell me that my partner and another work mate had been killed in a tragic accident, the drivers car had been hit by a train , my partner was the passenger , he was my world, I am waiting for the inquest, which is not held till the end of the year. I have since moved , he was the main earner, I worked part time, now I am really struggling , I am unable to work at the moment due to the grief . What a mess, the driver took a chance to go across a half barrier crossing , and took my partners life into his own hands, and totally ruined our lives, How stupid can a person be. I now have nothing to look forward to without him, we had a great relationship, I miss him so much every day.

Comments for My Darling never came home from work.

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Sep 14, 2013
I am sooo sorry !
by: Lynne

Oh My...I am sooo sorry for your loss..My husband died July 2, 2013....I am feeling your pain, and am crying ...hurting...with you...I am so very sorry....

Sep 11, 2013
I know your pain
by: Lawrence


How incredibly sad and tragic your story is, one moment’s lack of concentration and stupidity and you are left to live your life alone, nothing you could have done to prevent it, it’s called FATE, we are all victims of it in one way or another
You are in the very early days of your grief and the only thing I can say to help is that it does get better; there is a natural time limit on grief, you will find as the months pass by, the tears will lessen and the overwhelming pain and heartache will diminish.
I never ever thought I could recover from my own shattering loss, my wife died in an instant as we were talking, of a massive heart attack. I wanted to die too as I couldn’t face the future without her after seventy years of love and passion, but I am here writing to you and surviving, not very well because I still cry a lot and I am incredibly lonely but still getting on with my life.
I am a violinist and have joined two amateur orchestras so I can get out of the house and mix with people. I have become a member of a social club and learning to play bridge, I write novels, total rubbish needless to say but writing gets my mind active, I have a cupboard full of novels that I have written over the past thirty years, nobody ever read them except my lovely wife and family, try it, you will be amazed at what talents you have, but the important thing is you must get out of the house.
The reason I am telling you this is because you will have a life after the grief has lessened, you will still miss him and think of him every day BUT and this is a big BUT life has to go on and you can’t spend the rest of it grieving.
Play his favorite records on an evening, sad as it is and throw a kiss to his photograph before you go to bed and wish him
“Goodnight”.as I do to my wife.
I serenade her every evening by playing the organ to her; I play the songs she loved like songs like “MOON RIVER” “THE MOUNTAINS OF MOURNE” and DANNY BOY”. There are a few I can’t play yet like “SEND IN THE CLOWNS and the one that still breaks my heart called “LOSING MY MIND”, the words are.
I am crying as I type these words, they say everything we all feel.
I know if my wife is listening there will be a gentle smile on her face.
Everybody on this web site has, or is going through the pain and agony as you are now, so you have joined a club no one wanted to be a member of but we have to play the cards that GOD deals us.
Look after yourself and know you are in everybody’s prayers.

Sep 06, 2013
My Darling never came home from work
by: Doreen U.K.

Carolyn I am sorry for your loss of your husband to a sudden death. This is such huge risk that didn't pay off. We go through life with happiness every day planning and living even if it be a simple life, but it is the joy it gives us to live with someone we love. To lose that life is one of the most painful moments of our life. A sudden death leaves one in shock and disbelief for a long time. If you find yourself struggling, try seeing a grief counsellor to help support you as you work through the pain of your loss.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 16 months ago yesterday and this is the worst loss of my life. I nursed him for over 3yrs with a painful deadly cancer. My grief started at diagnosis and I was numb with this all the time, I still feel numb. I take one day at a time and it is easier to cope with life this way.
Life leaves us with many fractures, but death is the worst. Our atmosphere changes forever. Days I couldn't do anything. Grief assaults the body and leaves one feeling ill for a long time. Worse for those have to go back to work. I am retired, but if I could handle work I would do this so that I would have this distraction. My working life gave me identity and self esteem. My days are lonely now and having to restructure my life now is not easy.
You are facing one of the worst experiences of your life and life as we know it will never be the same again. I wish you well in how you get through the next weeks and months. Write back and let us continue to support each other. Don't do this alone. Best wishes.

Sep 06, 2013
Grieving and Sadness.
by: Elizabeth.

To everyone men,women,children, everywhere.
As we each journey through live and really live we will meet grief and sadness just as well as we meet love, happiness, peace,and all the other feelings that make us human beings.
We cannot runaway, or hide them if we do we will be poorer for it. Each emotion teaches us something about our self, others or life.
As long as they are experienced genuinely painful as they are though we may not feel at the time wewill get through them and move on.
We are the ones who will know how successfully.
That is what the experience of living teaches me every day.
Take Care.

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