My darling son
April 28th 2012, 16.37pm I received the phone call that was to change my life forever!
Stuart had argued with his fiance the previous night and had taken himself off to the attic to calm down, 17hrs later she rang me....he hadn't been out of the room for a drink, to eat or use the bathroom, she hadn't heard him moving around so 17 hrs later she decides she's going to ring me!
I tried ringing Stuart but in my heart I knew something was horribly wrong. I drove myself, my husband, Stus step dad, my daughter and youngest son straight to their house where she was stood in her pyjamas! I ran upstairs to the attic while my husband found something to break the door down with....
I will never forget seeing my beautiful boy as he was when we found him....the pain I feel every minute of every day is killing me. My other adult children are coping...just, but my husband keeps telling me "to get over it...move on..". How can I move on when inside I'm dying? My beautiful Stuart was only 26, he had his whole life ahead of him. It was totally out of character for him to do something like this, I can't accept it, I feel so guilty, so lost, so alone. My husband tells me to talk to him but when I do the conversation always has to be about him, not my feelings, not my pain or guilt, not even Stu. But him, and everything about him.