My dear son Robert

by Jean
(Georgia USA)

Goodbye my dear son

Goodbye my dear son

Goodbye my dear son
Jim & Robert

You were one of my last born children. You took your own life a month before your birthday and a couple days before Colleen's. Altho I understand the awful life of bills with no money to pay them, never being able to work again and worst of all, the pain from your recent surgery that prevented you from having any quality of life anymore drove you to get out of this life,it almost killed me. It's over a year that you did that but I can't stop grieving. Even now I begin to be wracked with uncontrollable sobs when thoughts of your last day on earth come to me or I remember your childhood. Will it never end? I know I heard your voice in a dream that told me,"I didn't end my suffering to make yours begin Mom". It made me know you were with Jesus and I believe God allowed you to tell me that to help me. I feel my children will go before I do and Pop too. Was Emma mean to you? Why on earth did she leave you alone in the house to go with her daughter? She knew you had a shotgun and bullets to end the suffering and pain you were going thru and yet she left you alone. May God help me to not hate her! I heard from Jim that David and you had a big fight
and that must have hurt your heart too. He was your only son and your passing was hard for him to bear too. We all have not yet been able to accept your death. I will be with you and Jesus soon and that makes me happy but what of the ones we have left behind? My mothers' heart hurts for them for what they will suffer by it but when God says I must leave I will go and maybe have the strength to not
worry. Now I will end all the thoughts that have troubled me and I have written. Maybe I will feel the pain of losing you less for having written them here. The poem I wrote to you says so much of what I remember of you, Rob. Goodnight sweet prince and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. You are never forgotten or loved by your, Ma

Comments for My dear son Robert

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Sep 17, 2012
To Lynne
by: Jean

Please accept my deepest condolences for the death of your daughter. Sometime we are so wrapped up in our own grief that we can't express what we feel for others. God's comfort for you and all your family is my prayer for you today.

Sep 13, 2012
To Lynne
by: Jean

You are so kind to leave a comment and I do thankyou so very much.
Robert was so kind to all he met and the church was filled to overflowing at his memorial svce. We all saw his goodness and will never forget the love he gave us all.

Sep 13, 2012
To Doreen UK
by: Jean

Thankyou for your comment. I too am sad over the loss of your nephew. God help all of us to bear the pain we feel over their deaths

Sep 05, 2012
My dear son Robert
by: Doreen U.K.

Jean I am sorry for your loss of your son Robert to suicide. How does one ever get over the death of a son by suicide? I DON'T think a mom can forget. My sister is going through this pain after 5 yrs. of her son ending his life under an express train. When someone is in that much pain that suicide is the only way out, HOW? can they even think of the people they leave behind to suffer. Many have said this is a selfish act. I don't think it is a selfish act. The person is in so much pain that is all that they can see. There is no way out for them. I don't condone suicide. But I understand it so much. The pain subsides in time but it will always come back. I think that God is the only person that can bring healing from this tragedy. Medication, and morphine can ease physical pain but there is nothing to soothe the emotional pain of loss and grief when someone dies. We can only go on one day at a time and only TIME will bring healing from the pain of lonliness, emptiness, grief, guilt, and sorrow from any loss of life. Life is especially difficult when suffers loss of a job, health, home and relationship that causes one to go downhill into depression that one never seems to recover from. It is so easy for those not in this place to not understand how bad life can get that makes one feel that they can't go on anymore. My nephew was in such a place and at 30yrs. of age he threw himeself in front of an express train. This type of death shows the depth of one's suffering and inability to cope anymore. Our Social Services let many down in society from the help they need. I feel so angry with aid being given to other countries when it is needed in our own country to help the people here. When is anyone going to sit up and take notice of those who can't cope with the situation they are in and help them. Families suffer all the time. Such needless suffering when proper care should be put in place. I am sorry for the pain you are in. Get the right support you need so that you can go on each day with less pain. May the days ahead give you Peace from your Pain.

Sep 04, 2012
I understand
by: Lynne

Jean, you are a beautiful writer and clearly a wonderfully loving mother. While my story is different from yours ( I lost my adult daughter Jessica 6 months ago), your expression of love and loss resonated with me. I hope that expressing those honest thoughts and feelings here have given you some brief sense of relief.
You are not alone. All mothers who are walking this path understand and embrace you.
Love and prayers...

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