My dear sweet Sandy
(Capac, Michigan U.S.A.)
Wow…there are so many of us here. My heart goes out to every single one of you.
I lost my dear sweet wife (Sandy) suddenly and unexpectedly on January 13th of this year. (2014) She was only 61 yrs old. She was awesome…the most selfless woman I’ve ever met. She and I were everything to each other…in every way. We had no children. I’m alone now.
I of course miss her terribly.
Allow me to tell you how Sandy and I met. I lived with a friend who also was named Rick. Rick had a girlfriend named Evy. Evy owned a nail and hair salon, and Sandy would get her nails done there. I had been recently dumped by a woman that was no good for me anyway. Sandy had not long before been divorced from a man who wasn’t good for her. We had both been bemoaning to Evy how so many people are so selfish and have too much pride, and we were expressing our dismay that so many seem to disregard Jesus’ simple teachings to us…to be kind and loving…to try not to judge…and even to help others when we can. One day, Evy said to me, “Rick…I know this pretty woman named Sandy. And when I listen to you, and then listen to her, it’s as if I’m listening to the same person. Evy made arrangements for the four of us to go on a double date at a local park so that Sandy and I could meet. Oh Lord, she was so beautiful…long golden hair, a nice tan, a gorgeous figure, a purple summer dress, purple flip flops and even purple sunglasses. I was a little nervous, and could tell she was too. We were respectful and shook hands and we both said, “Nice to meet you.” And we all had a nice day. Sandy and I agreed to meet again, and soon after had our first real date…just her and me. I asked her what she might like to do…go to a movie? Dinner? She said, “No, I’d like to go to a park again.” We got some KFC and went to a different smaller park and enjoyed getting to know each other. We went in her car because mine was being repaired. When Sandy later dropped me off where I lived, we said our goodbyes and I was standing at the door as she walked the few steps to the driveway. Just before getting into her car, she turned and looked at me and said, “God bless you, Rick.” You could’ve knocked me over with a feather. I’d never heard those words from any other woman after a first date…if ever. I knew that Sandy was not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside as well. And that was the start of 27 blessed years together.
The evening Sandy died, I had been way out back in the barn/shop, working on my pickup truck. (we were renting a big old house on a 200 acre farm) On the way home from work, (Sandy was a nurse for 40 years) she called ahead to ask if I would start some home-made chicken noodle soup. So I walked up to the house to do that. She got home at about 5:30 pm. She was tired, but in good spirits and happy to be home and to have the next day off. The gravel driveway was so icy and rough…it was very dangerous. I went out to help her to the house. I had her hang onto the back of my coat collar in case she slipped. She joked that maybe I should just pull her along like a sled. We made it to the house, and we went into the kitchen. We tasted the soup-broth together…both of our faces close together over the pot, and slurping from a spoon. We laughed. The broth was good, but the noodles weren’t quite done yet. I told her to go ahead upstairs and put her pajamas on and settle down to the computer if she’d like, and I’d finish dinner and bring it up to her. But she said, “No…that’s ok. I know you want to finish your truck. You can go back out there.” Normally, I would’ve settled down and had dinner with her, and we probably would’ve watched a movie together. But I was soooo close to being finished with the truck. I asked, “Are you sure?” “Yup”, she replied. We talked and joked just a bit more as I got ready to go back out to the barn, and I headed toward the door. She said “I love you”…and I said “I love you”. I was only out there for an hour or so when I called to check on her. But I got no answer…which usually meant that she was in the bathroom or she had laid down and fallen asleep, and she’d probably call me back in a minute or two. But after about 10 minutes, she still hadn’t called. To heck with the truck…I shut the shop down and walked back to the house. I checked the soup and it was done, but she hadn’t taken any. Hmmm…I called up the stairs. No answer. She must be asleep. I started up the stairs. As my view crested the landing, I saw something black. What was I seeing? As I continued up the last few steps, I suddenly realized…I was seeing the legs of her black pajama pants. Sandy was laying flat on her back motionless on the landing! It took a couple of seconds for my mind to process what my eyes beheld. Oh my God! I knelt down beside her. Her eyes were closed. I lightly slapped her face as I called her name. “Sandy! …Sandy!!!” I checked her respiration. Nothing! I checked her pulse. Nothing! She had suffered a massive heart attack and had gone into cardiac arrest and died. Oh my God! NO!!! I started CPR while I called 911. The medics did all they could, but it was futile.
Just like that, I had lost the love of my life. No God…please, no. Pleeeease no. Pleeeeeeeeeeease. NO!!!
How do you type a whimper? How do you type sobbing? How do you type a broken heart??? I’m crying even as I type this.
What’s made things even worse is that my family had been ridiculously disrespectful and showed great disregard for Sandy over the years. I had regretfully finally cut ties with them long ago. I didn’t even tell them that Sandy died. You might think, “Oh, it couldn’t be that bad. You should try to reconcile with your family. You need the support.” No…you don’t understand. They were bad. And it can't be fixed now.