My dearest Jamaica

by Dagmar

I lost you Jamaica on Tuesday due to a ruptured spleen. It was sudden, unexpected, and a total shock. I never expected to
lose you at 8 years and 8 days old. I expected you to be with me
for many more years.
I don't know if you could have been saved had I gotten you to the vet sooner, but I feel guilty for not knowing you were bleeding out internally.

The day started out so nice. We went for a walk and everything was good. Then suddenly on the way home you started lagging behind, like you were so tired. And I didn't understand why you should be tired, it was our normal walk, yet you looked so tired, but you kept plodding on. We got home, but you didn't want your normal treat. I think you only ate it because you didn't want Morgan to get it. But you threw it right up. And then you went downstairs. When you didn't come back up I went looking for you and you were standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking like you wanted to be carried back up, like you sometimes did.
But when I tried to pick you up, you screamed. That's when I knew something was horribly wrong. I tried to get you in to see the vet right away but they were swamped and I couldn't get you there for a few hours. If I had only known what was happening I would have taken you immediately to an emergency vet. I'm so sorry, baby. And I didn't get to say goodbye. As soon as the vet finally saw you she knew how bad your situation was and immediately tried to help you. She whisked you away. But it was too late. Please forgive me.

I will forever miss your bright eyes and the way your ears flipped over, reminded of the Flying Nun's hat. I miss the way you would plop your body down next to me, and then wiggle your butt to get
as close as you possibly could. The way you didn't mind me rubbing the length of your nose. And at night,the way you always felt secure only if you could sleep between my legs. Daddy and Morgan miss you too, tho your daddy is much too stoic and manly to admit how much he loved you. And Morgan looks for you each morning, to tell you when breakfast is ready. But you're not there. And you never will be again. I hope you are at peace. Know that we miss you, Sweetie and we love you. You will always be in our hearts.

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