My dog Cookie. I have a broken heart.

by Tracey
(Arizona)

Cookie begging for food!!

Cookie begging for food!!

My dog Cookie was over 20 yrs old when we had to put her to sleep. This happened on Feb. 5th, 2009.

She was and still is a good dog, so sweet, adorable, made us laugh every day and never hurt anyone. The last yr we had her, her health started to go down hill. She had a bad hip, her hearing started to go, her eye sight was starting to fade (she only had one eye because 3 yrs earlier it had to be removed because of a tumor), she couldnt hold her potties like she used to.

Then she became senile. We had no idea. She would walk up to a wall and just stand there and stare, or would get stuck between two chairs and couldn't figure how to get out. When the vet told us she was senile, it all made sense. It got to the point where she had so much trouble walking that her leg would give out on her and she would sit down and couldn't get up.

Me and my huband was always helping her stand and keep her balance. Then came the time when she couldn't balance to eat, so she would lean against the wall. She stopped drinking water, so we had to add extra to her food.

One day it was clear to me that she was miserable and we had no choice but to make that awful decision to have her put to sleep. I gave her a sedative, which she then fell into a deep sleep. When the vet came to our house she didn't wake up. Didn't even know he was there. So when he gave her the injection she passed very peacefully in her sleep.

Me and my husband cried when they took her away. We now have her ashes in a beautiful urn and a very happy pic of her on it. But I'm still suffering from grief. Some days aren't too bad, then other days it's terrible. I miss her, and I also have this terrible guilt that is eating at me. Today March 13, 2009, I was reading a mothers day card that my husband bought, and he wrote it like it was from the dog. He signed it like this: (Thank you for always looking out for me, we love you!! Cookie, woof woof) When I read it today, it broke my heart and I started to cry. This pain is terrible!!!

Comments for My dog Cookie. I have a broken heart.

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Aug 20, 2016
Reply to Fur Baby Flex
by: Tracey

I am so very sorry for your loss. You probably feel as though a piece of your heart is missing. Its a terrible feeling.

A friends furbaby passed away in a similar way as your Furbaby Flex did. One minute fine and the next minute they found him out back. They had no idea what caused his passing.

You take care of yourself hun. Big hugs to you

Tracey, Cookies Mommy

Aug 14, 2016
My furbaby flex
by: Anonymous

Lost my furbaby flex on Friday 22nd August he was only 18mnth old a lhasa apso...Friday was a normal day he had his bath ate and drank normally showed no sign he was ill me and kids went to shop came bk he's was gone. Vet says his heart just stopped I dont understand how he can be fine then gone an hour later it's so unfair me and children absolutely devastated. Iv never heard of a pooch just dropping dead it's heartbreaking...I feel for all you that have lost furbabys..wondering if anyone one lost a pet in similar circumstances xx

Mar 23, 2015
Sorrow
by: Anonymous

My whole family is gone...my furry kids...died in an instant ..under the care of a family member. I am devastated. Nothing I can do...pray for healing. I fear everything now..

Oct 06, 2014
My Dog broke my heart
by: Ryan

I am a less emotional person but I am not a robot, I do feel. Day 1 when chuchu my dog came in to my life he filled the emptiness in my heart which is LOVE. I know chuchu loves me I can feel it, he always sleeps beside me at night, he rides my motorcycle and I was amazed he can balanced himself on a motorcycle, he always follows me wherever I go. His so sweet and very easy to love. One day he lost his appetite, whine for some reasons and won't sleep, I brought him to a vet, the vet game him antibiotic and we force feed him, after 1 week it got worse I saw pain in his eyes and my heart was in pain too seeing him like that. I brought him to vet again and was diagnosed for distemper and the only choice was euthanize, so I agreed just to give chuche rest and not to feel the pain anymore. When the vet is preparing the death bed and the medication. chuchu died in my arms with open eyes and his heart stopped beating.
DAMN it made me cry and he broke my heart T_T. I just want to say I love you chuchu and you will stay in my heart forever till I die.

Sep 20, 2014
its so hard
by: Anonymous

Only another pet owner understands the depth of the love between pets and their owners. They fill us with indescribable happiness, they know when we are sad and the smallest effort on our part to please them brings that tail wagging so fast.

This morning I have the hardest job in the world...taking my 14 1/2 beautiful Sheltie mix to our vet to be laid to rest. He has leukemia which has recently progressed badly enough that he has neurological issues now...can't walk straight, falls down, acts confused at times.

My heart is breaking...I've never had to make this type of decision before. I have to find peace in that its the right decision for HIM...I can't be selfish and keep him with me while he deteriorates further. But its going to be so hard walking into the vet this morning with my baby knowing his little bed at home will be empty.

God bless to all of you beautiful, loving pet owners.

May 17, 2013
Morti
by: LJD

We only had Morti for 10 years. He had a lot of problems. Three types of cancer and valley fever. He had two surgeries in the last month and a half to remove tumors. Then a week ago he began vomiting. Four days ago he stopped eating. We made the tremendously difficult decision to let him go in peace this morning.

My heart is breaking and I can't stop crying. My husband has been crying too. I just want him back.

I feel your pain for Cookie and I hope one day we can both look back on these dark days and remember our dogs with only happiness.

Apr 17, 2013
loss of a best freind
by: glen

I feel you pain for all your losses
I lost my cezar one month ago
he was the most beautiful goldlen retriever
he was at me side every day since i got him
my heart bleeds at losing him to cancer
putting him down was the most painful thing to do
I only hope the peace he gave me he felt back


Nov 26, 2012
Cookie is happy now :)
by: Haifa

I am sure that your dog is happy for taking care of him.
it is better than those who through them in the trash or abandon them. those who mistreat animals will face troubles for the bad deeds.
and those who who treat them well or rescue them will be happy.

Oct 04, 2012
Penny
by: Anonymous

First to Nadine, I am so incredibly sorry about your losses. As I sit here grieving my little Penny, I read your story about also losing your son. Life is truly so hard and I pray God wraps his arms around you (and everyone here) and brings comfort to your soul.

My Penny was almost 9. The sweetest, most gentlest, joyful little beagle you could ever meet. I have another beagle, Lucy as well as 2 chihuahua's. My four girls, always together...sometimes they'd argue, but never Penny. She was happy to let the other's take her food, her bones, her spot in the sun...she'd just move and find a new spot.

She was diagnosed with Lymphoma in July (today is October 3, 2012). My world came crashing down, oh please God, not my little Penny...please...

I jumped in with both feet, I told Penny "don't worry, I got this" and she believed me. We went to home cooked foods and all the supplements/teas and herbs you can imagine. She ate like a champ, took her tea every morning...she was right by my side fighting the good fight and for over 2 months she felt better than I could ever remember. We went for so many walks, drives...things were good. And then the decline came, and it was fast. Within 2 weeks her breathing became so labored, her little body so weak. She would not touch her supplements anymore and I realized that although I was still in the fight, she wasn't. She was tired and her last day (yesterday) she wouldn't eat anything. Not a treat or even a dingo bone (which she joyfully devoured the day before).

I had her put to sleep at the vets last night. Her last vision was of me, kissing her sweet little nose, telling her how much I loved her. Keeping the happy face on until she left. Once she was gone, I just collasped on top of her and howled.

She is home with me now. I have the grave 1/2 dug, but no stregth to continue - althpough I must. Her 3 little sisters are all quiet today. You would think with 3 other dogs in the house it would still be filled with life and joy, but the light has gone out. It is just quiet and heavy here at home.

I want to scream God why? WHY??? But then I remind myself that Penny chose me to be her Mommy. She could have chosen someone else, or they her. But I was the blessed one, I hit the lottery, and I am so honored that I am her Mommy.

Penny was named after pennies from heaven because when we got her at age 6 weeks, I felt she was such a gift, and she was...and still is, and will be always.

Penny taught me that there's nothing that a wagging tail can't fix.

I know she's still here with us. We are still together.

Jul 29, 2012
my dog is name cookie
by: reanna

cookie is such a good name my dog is a Maltese and her name is Ashley....Just kidding!!!her name is cookie!!

Dec 20, 2011
sorry
by: your understanding friend

im so sorry about cookie, i sold my dog and now heart broken. I dont ever get to see him p.s my dogs name is max he is or should i say he was my little baby. Its like he died because i dont see him any more i am trying to force myself to forget him because i know i wont see him any more

Jul 10, 2011
Sorry
by: Anonymous

i have a dog called cookie, when i saw the picture i thought i should read and see what it was, when i finished reading it a began to cry

Apr 19, 2010
Sorry for your Sadness
by: Diane

I came upon this blog by accident. The home page caught my eye because my dog's name is Cookie too. I am really sorry for the loss you must be feeling. It sounds like you were really a loving owner and cared very much for your dog. I hope time will bring you brighter days soon.

Apr 13, 2010
A perfect life
by: Anonymous

Your beautiful Cookie had you for 20 years, and nothing could have been more wonderful for her. Remember this every time you're sad.

Oct 22, 2009
I Read with interest.
by: Amanda

Hi

Firstly i would like to say how sorry i am about Cookie & know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my Collie X boy (Casper) in Jan this year to a brain tumour which i was unaware he had.

I remember when i came out of the Vets after we had him PTS, my partner had to help me to the car as my legs gave way & i remember thinking, how am i going to carry on? I knew that i would be devastated, but it was absolutely terrible & the feeling like someone had just ripped my insides out.

Like you, i have his ashes in a lovely carved wooden box & he is in the lounge with us. At night i always touch his box & say goodnight the same way as i did when he was here. I also have a photo which i kiss goodnight to as well.

I also talk to him & sometimes i think i can hear him in the kitchen (probably looking for a biscuit).

What has helped me is the fact that even though i made the decision to have him PTS, i knew that was the best thing for him & I had to put aside my feelings & do what was best for him.

At the end he could not stand without falling over & was having regular seizures amongst other problems. I knew that he had had enough & he looked so, so sad. He was 13 yrs & had had a great life & was spoilt rotten. I miss him terribly, but at the end of the day, i would never have let him suffer.

Just remember you did the most kindest thing for Cookie & that is the important thing.

Take care

Amanda

Sep 23, 2009
With Sympathy
by: Affinity

Hello, I feel your pain as well. I know exactly what your going through. I know your heart feels very heavy right now and your tears keep flowing like a river.

My Chinese Sharpei Baby boy passed on August 3, 2009 and he was 17 years and 7 months old. Our vet called him the Sean Connery of Dogs ( Old but still handsome). It was the day I hoped and prayed would never come. I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

I'm not a cryer and I didn't even cry for my Grand Father and Mother when they passed on 2 years ago, but when I got that dreaded phone call and heart wrenching news that there was complications on the operating table on that faithful afternoon, it literally ripped my heart out. I cried like a baby for 7 weeks straight and I still do.

I know the emptiness and void in your home is tremendously awkward and the change in routine only reminds you that a special bond has been severed. Your dog and mine have made an impact on us that was so wonderful and positive, they inundated us with pure joy, pure love at the highest level. Go ahead and cry, it releases the pain in your heart. It does for me. I know how much you loved your fur baby.

Take Care, your dog will visit in you in your dreams, I promise!

Mar 15, 2009
Nadine
by: tracey

I'm so sorry to hear about your dogs and your son. What a terrible and painful thing for you to have to go through. They do say that the pain gets better with time.

At first it seemed as though I was handling my dogs passing very well, but the last few weeks have been sssoooo hard. Just yesterday as I was grocery shopping, I came across a toilet paper package that had a pic of a puppy on it, it reminded me of my dog and I wanted to cry. Just little reminders like that can make you cry.

Please take care hon.

Mar 15, 2009
I Know Your Pain
by: Nadine

I had 2 Lhasa Apso's they both lived to 15, one got cancer and the other went blind got a cyst on face and ruptured; we had to carry her to the yard to go potty and to food to eat. She would bang her head against the wall trying to fend for herself.

Oh the pain of losing them, I had to take a week off work. Now my son died on Thanksgiving and I wish I could take a year off work. I catch myself calling his phone number and putting on his clothes.

I want to rest have peace. They say time is all we need, but if you go crazy, as I feel I'm doing at times, what else can be so tragic?

Nadine

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