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My dog Cookie. I have a broken heart.

by Tracey
(Arizona)

Cookie begging for food!!

Cookie begging for food!!

My dog Cookie was over 20 yrs old when we had to put her to sleep. This happened on Feb. 5th, 2009.

She was and still is a good dog, so sweet, adorable, made us laugh every day and never hurt anyone. The last yr we had her, her health started to go down hill. She had a bad hip, her hearing started to go, her eye sight was starting to fade (she only had one eye because 3 yrs earlier it had to be removed because of a tumor), she couldnt hold her potties like she used to.

Then she became senile. We had no idea. She would walk up to a wall and just stand there and stare, or would get stuck between two chairs and couldn't figure how to get out. When the vet told us she was senile, it all made sense. It got to the point where she had so much trouble walking that her leg would give out on her and she would sit down and couldn't get up.

Me and my huband was always helping her stand and keep her balance. Then came the time when she couldn't balance to eat, so she would lean against the wall. She stopped drinking water, so we had to add extra to her food.

One day it was clear to me that she was miserable and we had no choice but to make that awful decision to have her put to sleep. I gave her a sedative, which she then fell into a deep sleep. When the vet came to our house she didn't wake up. Didn't even know he was there. So when he gave her the injection she passed very peacefully in her sleep.

Me and my husband cried when they took her away. We now have her ashes in a beautiful urn and a very happy pic of her on it. But I'm still suffering from grief. Some days aren't too bad, then other days it's terrible. I miss her, and I also have this terrible guilt that is eating at me. Today March 13, 2009, I was reading a mothers day card that my husband bought, and he wrote it like it was from the dog. He signed it like this: (Thank you for always looking out for me, we love you!! Cookie, woof woof) When I read it today, it broke my heart and I started to cry. This pain is terrible!!!

Comments for
My dog Cookie. I have a broken heart.

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Sorry for your Sadness
by: Diane

I came upon this blog by accident. The home page caught my eye because my dog's name is Cookie too. I am really sorry for the loss you must be feeling. It sounds like you were really a loving owner and cared very much for your dog. I hope time will bring you brighter days soon.
A perfect life
by: Anonymous

Your beautiful Cookie had you for 20 years, and nothing could have been more wonderful for her. Remember this every time you're sad.
I Read with interest.
by: Amanda

Hi

Firstly i would like to say how sorry i am about Cookie & know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my Collie X boy (Casper) in Jan this year to a brain tumour which i was unaware he had.

I remember when i came out of the Vets after we had him PTS, my partner had to help me to the car as my legs gave way & i remember thinking, how am i going to carry on? I knew that i would be devastated, but it was absolutely terrible & the feeling like someone had just ripped my insides out.

Like you, i have his ashes in a lovely carved wooden box & he is in the lounge with us. At night i always touch his box & say goodnight the same way as i did when he was here. I also have a photo which i kiss goodnight to as well.

I also talk to him & sometimes i think i can hear him in the kitchen (probably looking for a biscuit).

What has helped me is the fact that even though i made the decision to have him PTS, i knew that was the best thing for him & I had to put aside my feelings & do what was best for him.

At the end he could not stand without falling over & was having regular seizures amongst other problems. I knew that he had had enough & he looked so, so sad. He was 13 yrs & had had a great life & was spoilt rotten. I miss him terribly, but at the end of the day, i would never have let him suffer.

Just remember you did the most kindest thing for Cookie & that is the important thing.

Take care

Amanda
With Sympathy
by: Affinity

Hello, I feel your pain as well. I know exactly what your going through. I know your heart feels very heavy right now and your tears keep flowing like a river.

My Chinese Sharpei Baby boy passed on August 3, 2009 and he was 17 years and 7 months old. Our vet called him the Sean Connery of Dogs ( Old but still handsome). It was the day I hoped and prayed would never come. I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

I'm not a cryer and I didn't even cry for my Grand Father and Mother when they passed on 2 years ago, but when I got that dreaded phone call and heart wrenching news that there was complications on the operating table on that faithful afternoon, it literally ripped my heart out. I cried like a baby for 7 weeks straight and I still do.

I know the emptiness and void in your home is tremendously awkward and the change in routine only reminds you that a special bond has been severed. Your dog and mine have made an impact on us that was so wonderful and positive, they inundated us with pure joy, pure love at the highest level. Go ahead and cry, it releases the pain in your heart. It does for me. I know how much you loved your fur baby.

Take Care, your dog will visit in you in your dreams, I promise!
Nadine
by: tracey

I'm so sorry to hear about your dogs and your son. What a terrible and painful thing for you to have to go through. They do say that the pain gets better with time.

At first it seemed as though I was handling my dogs passing very well, but the last few weeks have been sssoooo hard. Just yesterday as I was grocery shopping, I came across a toilet paper package that had a pic of a puppy on it, it reminded me of my dog and I wanted to cry. Just little reminders like that can make you cry.

Please take care hon.
I Know Your Pain
by: Nadine

I had 2 Lhasa Apso's they both lived to 15, one got cancer and the other went blind got a cyst on face and ruptured; we had to carry her to the yard to go potty and to food to eat. She would bang her head against the wall trying to fend for herself.

Oh the pain of losing them, I had to take a week off work. Now my son died on Thanksgiving and I wish I could take a year off work. I catch myself calling his phone number and putting on his clothes.

I want to rest have peace. They say time is all we need, but if you go crazy, as I feel I'm doing at times, what else can be so tragic?

Nadine

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