My Family No Longer

by Shyan

I was twenty when I met who I was convinced was the love I had been searching for. I was twenty; unsure of myself, naive, and hoping for anyone to love me. He was twenty seven, with two children, and a lot of unfinished business with his last relationship. I fought myself into his heart, and he welcomed me as best as he could. We were together, battling with his ex for six months before we decided that we wanted to move forward, he wanted me to meet his children, I wanted to make him happy.

I thought my heart was full until I met his two boys, five and seven, and I fell into a whole different level of love. It was instant, and it was sure.

Over the next year and a half, a court battle for custody, a proposal, debt, stress, resentment, I watched myself keep it together for those boys and for those boys only. At work I was bitter and lost, not the bright eyed, ambitious girl I was before. I was distant from my family and my friends. All I cared about was helping the boys through the vindictive acts of their parents. I fell out of love with their father, I felt hatred towards their mother, it killed me inside, all of the negativity, yet when I was with my boys, I couldn't be anything but happy.

My parents wanted me out of the situation, my friends begged me to see what I was too blind to. After his eldest sons 8th birthday party, I decided it was time to save myself. I knew it would hurt like hell, but the years of lost savings, shattered ideas of what love truly was, and living with an already broken heart, leaving had to be a more hopeful alternative than staying.

I packed up my life, and said goodbye to the two small loves of my life, and left.

Now, I am sharing my story from my apartment in Australia. I quit my job, and moved here from Alberta. My life has been turned upside down but everything leading to this change was necessary. I will always love those boys, they were my family, they were my home. I do not regret any moments of that life. It was meant to happen, I was meant to live it.

For anyone in a situation like this, you cannot risk your happiness, your soul, your heart to make someone else happy. This is not the way to live, you deserve good, you deserve to be happy.

I deserve to be happy.

Comments for My Family No Longer

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Nov 10, 2014
Thank you for your kind words
by: Shyan

Anonymous & Doreen. I want to thank you, truly from my heart, for the words I have just read from each of you. Each day I am feeling stronger, and though the memories come up, I am no longer having tears and regret. I am feeling happiness that I have moved into my next chapter in life. I feel happiness that the boys are going to have wonderful lives, they are still children enjoying their childhood. They may think of me, and when they do they can remember everything we did, all of our memories, all of the laughs, and the love that we had in our time together. I miss them so strongly, but I made the right decision for not only myself but for that family. I am finding peace again. I was surprised to find comments, but they reassured me that my life will go on and I am going to be okay. I wish both of you a wonderful, full, and happy life. Thank you again. I will cherish your words.

Oct 28, 2014
nice story
by: Anonymous

I am glad 😊 you are happy m I lost my children due to mental illness and poverty. I hated it, but I am now better and going to have my best Xmas 🎅 ever since I try to follow my higher power. I ran away too trying to get rid of the pain, but I couldn't get rid of the pain. I pray I get double for my trouble because my kids were the love of my life.

Oct 28, 2014
My Family No Longer
by: Doreen UK

Shyan, Many of us remember when we were twenty and not mature enough to take on the world with all its problems.
Taking on a man with children has its challenges and a messy battle happened to you. You Learned about life, and what you needed, and how difficult those challenges were that turned you against going ahead with a life with the man you took up with. It also helped you to MATURE.
You will have memories of children you bonded with and loved to the end and couldn't take further because they would have been a ward of court in a custody battle.
It was heartbreak for you, but you got your life back on track and wiser from this experience.
You moved countries, into a life which will give you the ability to look forward and make this new life for yourself better. Doing the right thing is not always easy and a painful experience. Those two boys will always remember you and what you gave them in the short time you were in relationship. Love and companionship, but sadly not to be their mother.
WE also have to be true to ourselves and realize we have our limitations and can't save the world.
My sister lives in Australia. Married and had four children. In a short time her husband started drinking and womanizing and left her with the four children and four children she inherited through marriage from his previous marriage. My sister being a real earth mother fought to have those children and she brought them up all by herself. Often having no money and several breakdowns in health physically and emotionally. Her four children are doing exceptionally well into Property Developing, Nurse, and Psychologist. The four she inherited she did her best with with turbulence, and difficult times. Till they grew up and they moved on with their lives. But she did her best and gave them a good life. As best as she could. She has the scars to prove it.
The sadness of any relationship break up is that the children will be casualties in this war. Often not being able to go on and forge stable relationships themselves. Such is Life. But we can all learn from the experiences of other's.
You will make a success of life and this can become an adventure. Make it one. Be Happy. This is your birthright and Heritage for being on this earth. Best wishes.

Oct 28, 2014
My Family No Longer
by: Doreen UK

Shyan, Many of us remember when we were twenty and not mature enough to take on the world with all its problems.
Taking on a man with children has its challenges and a messy battle happened to you. You Learned about life, and what you needed, and how difficult those challenges were that turned you against going ahead with a life with the man you took up with. It also helped you to MATURE.
You will have memories of children you bonded with and loved to the end and couldn't take further because they would have been a ward of court in a custody battle.
It was heartbreak for you, but you got your life back on track and wiser from this experience.
You moved countries, into a life which will give you the ability to look forward and make this new life for yourself better. Doing the right thing is not always easy and a painful experience. Those two boys will always remember you and what you gave them in the short time you were in relationship. Love and companionship, but sadly not to be their mother.
WE also have to be true to ourselves and realize we have our limitations and can't save the world.
My sister lives in Australia. Married and had four children. In a short time her husband started drinking and womanizing and left her with the four children and four children she inherited through marriage from his previous marriage. My sister being a real earth mother fought to have those children and she brought them up all by herself. Often having no money and several breakdowns in health physically and emotionally. Her four children are doing exceptionally well into Property Developing, Nurse, and Psychologist. The four she inherited she did her best with with turbulence, and difficult times. Till they grew up and they moved on with their lives. But she did her best and gave them a good life. As best as she could. She has the scars to prove it.
The sadness of any relationship break up is that the children will be casualties in this war. Often not being able to go on and forge stable relationships themselves. Such is Life. But we can all learn from the experiences of other's.
You will make a success of life and this can become an adventure. Make it one. Be Happy. This is your birthright and Heritage for being on this earth. Best wishes.

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