My father died after a Sudden stroke and I'm only 19

by Liz
(Surrey. BC, Canada)

So my dad and I never got on well (probably because we were so similarily strong personalities). He mannaged to get me an application for the place where he worked (the longshore) and my name was drawn. We were so excited and he was telling me to go to the gym and he took me down a couple times for the last training sessions at the job site.

My mum and I got a call from his work place telling us he'd gone to the hospital september 9th 2012. They told us he had to have brain surgery or he'd die at hospital from massive arterial rupture/ stroke in brain from high blood pressure. Long story short, they told us he wasn't ever going to get back to the normal loudmouthed but lovable guy he always was and that we had to make a decision. After struggling with it and knowing he was probably gonna stay in coma forever, we pulled plug.

My mum feels like she refrets it (he died on sept 14 2012).
We miss him so much and now I have nobody to turn to and I'm the only person struggling at the longshore to get work without a single person I know down there to turn to for help. That was what dad was for.
It has been less than 4 weeks since I had a dad and me and mum feel so lost (and mums not in great health either (she's 62) dad was 67)He would have been 68 oct 7th.

I don't need councilling I just want help (and what's more, our house is in demo as the day after he died we found out we had a massive water leak under house and mould). I'm broke, fatherless, and have no Idea what to do. How am I gonna make ends meet and who will help me? I have no one.......

Comments for My father died after a Sudden stroke and I'm only 19

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Nov 13, 2012
My father died after a Sudden stroke and I'm only 19
by: Anonymous

hi just reading your story and so sorry to hear about your dad . I also lost my dad to a major stoke last year he was 64 and full of life with no warning it was a huge shock as it was for you im sure . there doesnt go a day bye where i dont think about him whether its in the morning at work or when im at home . Remember the good times you had with him the laughs you had together and the love you shared together that will last forever and never go away. stay strong and look after your mum as i do with mine but if she needs some time on her own then let her have it as it will make her stronger as time goes by. it will take you a while to get over your dads death not by days, weeks, months but years .But dont count the days since he died thats what i did and every day felt like a month and i still expected to see him when he came to my house i hope this is a little help for you and your mum look after each other and always talk about your dad with each other as it will remember what a good man he was im sure as was mine . xx


from wales (uk)

Sep 29, 2012
My father died after a Sudden stroke and I'm only 19
by: Doreen U.K.

Liz I am sorry for your loss of your Dad suddenly, from your loss of home, your loss of job and any other loss you are going through right now. What you are saying is that you need Practical help, not counselling. Here in the U.K. When I did voluntary work in a Counselling Centre many clients came in with many problems and the counsellor was able to activate various organisations on their behalf for support, be it in Housing or work etc. That is one option. another way is to reach out to God. Pray for a job. Pray over all the difficulties you need help with. If I did not do this I would not have survived. It may not be for you, but it is worth a try. Find a church. Get the emotional support you need. See your Social Services and let them know you need HELP. When you are holding onto these problems all by yourself they seem insurmountable, bigger than they are. My husband died 5 months ago from cancer and I don't have him for support. So many things are going wrong. The new roof is leaking because the builder did not build this roof properly and it is going to cost me thousands of pounds to put this right if it can be put right. I am being ripped off by tradesmen doing all the repairs. I was upset and depressed and then decided to quit worrying, to hand it over to God. It is beyond me to figure this out where I get the money and the right tradesman to do the job. Losing my Husband was the worst that could happen to me. Nothing can come close to this loss. I know how you feel. My Adult children lost their father. He was 65yrs. I am 64yrs. We could have had a good retirement. It was not to be. I have to now count my blessings and not my losses. This is how I am going to get through this. I have noticed after a death there are always more problems that rise out of the ashes. I function only the way I can each day. I don't know how you are going to resolve your difficulties. There must be someone you can reach out to? Perhaps an uncle, brother, friend. When there is no one. ASK GOD FOR HELP!!! To Lead you in the right direction. God is never my last resort. I engage God in everything. God is our Heavenly Father. Sadly we will lose our earthly fathers. But we will always have our Heavenly Father.

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