My father,wherever you are...

by sara

My dad and mom divorced when I was 3. My dad took my sister and I and did the best he could to take care of us. He was gone a lot but he had to be on the road to make money. I only have positive memories of him. As time went on he remarried. Things were good when we were younger with my stepmom, but as time went on we grew apart. Stopped communicating. I moved in with my mom when I was 14. My dad did not want me to but he let me. I know why now. She was a major alcoholic and mean. Later on my dad divorced and moved on to another woman. We didn't hear from each other very often for a while, but somthing told me to go downstairs of my duplex, and the phone rang. It was my dad. He told me he loved me and I told him the same. About 3 weeks later, I get a call before work, and was told my dad was dead. That he shot himself...we were all so shocked and confused........still no peace...this was 2008.

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Sep 01, 2012
My father, wherever you are....
by: Doreen U.K.

Sara I am sorry for your loss of your father dying from suicide, and sorry for your loss of childhood from your parents divorce, and for your loss of happiness in the steparent family also known as the blended family. We have a lot of losses to grieve in life and we only associate this with death and not with losing other things in life. But saying this the death of a beloved family member is just about the worst loss we ever have to deal with. Especially the loss of a parent or loved one from suicide. You should try and get some bereavement counselling especially with this type of death from suicide. It is a sudden death and will affect the grief. I have been through this with my sister when she lost her 30yr. old son to suicide from depression. It tore our family apart. My sister had to have a grief counsellor come to her home regularly to help her. She did a good job as a counsellor. My sister is a walking miracle. She will never forget her son. She will always have the scars but she is happier now and helping others in grief. Your father probably never got over your mother and him divorcing and so just carried on into new relationship never resolving his difficulties. He reached rock bottom and took the only way out he knew to end his pain. If only we would use counsellor's for support anyone can recover from the grief of a divorce. One becomes locked into their own world of pain and cannot process who they leave behind and how it will affect their life. Their only focus in on their PAIN. It is a very sad end to a life that could have recovered. One never recovers from the death of a suicide. It leaves us with bad feeling forever. It has been almost 6 yrs. for us and it still hurts. Many people never want to embrace life because it hurts too much so they isolate themselves into an insular world that protects them from hurt and pain. But this is a false world. Better to have lived with our experiences than to have lived without the life we had. We have the memories of the ones we have LOVED. & LOST. May you find the comfort and peace of loved ones around you and friends to support you always.

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