My fiancé is gone

by Hunter
(Louisiana )

I have written on this site before but I am still having trouble. My fiance was killed by a drunk driver in June and since then her story has made national news. The driver that killed her and three others was only given probation because he was only 16 but mainly because he was rich. And yes this is the "Affluenza Case." It has been very hard to deal with the fact that he got away with it and there was no justice served. It just seems like my whole grieving process has started over at day one. It has also been hard to watch all the coverage that the case brought and having to relive all the details of it. I know it has been only 7 months but it feels like it was still yesterday. I think about it all the time and can't seem to get it off my mind. It feels like I lost the other half of me and there is a piece of my heart missing. It still doesn't seem real.

Comments for My fiancé is gone

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Feb 25, 2014
I lost Mine
by: Doreen UK

Ellie I am so sorry for your loss of your fiancé. You are so young, but so mature with a wisdom to match. You did something productive for you in moving so far away to get some perspective on your loss. I was married 44yrs. and lost my beloved husband to cancer also 21 months ago. Not a day goes by when some thought or feeling doesn't intrude into my grief and makes me feel sorrow all over again. The break away will do you good. No use staying close to family and friends who are not supportive and helping you through your grief. Sad to say that many family/friends show their true colours at such a time and makes us feel worse. Many even walk away or say the most insensitive things. You are not alone here. Many of us feel this. You will feel this pain of grief for a long time. The secret is TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. Even one MOMENT AT A TIME which I found useful advice on this site. Be true to yourself. This will be the worst experience of your life to lose someone you loved so much and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Grief comes in stages. If you find yourself struggling you may find counselling useful. I DID. I am stronger for the experience but this happened before my husband died. I will go through the motions of grief and call out to God for support on those days I feel my loss so much. Best wishes. Keep in touch.

Feb 25, 2014
I lost mine
by: Ellie

I am 31 and 9 months ago lost my fiancee to cancer. It feels like yesterday and I have actually left the country because I can't deal with being anywhere near our friends or family because of the way they treat me makes me angry. I really do empathise with you, I struggle every day as Im sure you do and I had to take space from everything I knew to get perspective. It hasn't made the pain go away but the change has helped me focus on something other than my loss.

Feb 10, 2014
My fiance is gone
by: Doreen UK

Hunter I daresay you are still broken by the anger of not only your loss but the lenient sentence if you can call it that. Probation is an insult. We do also have some judges here that don't give proportionate sentences and this adds to the pain of the family who have not only lost a loved one but has to live with the great injustice of the sentence.
You may benefit from talking over your feelings with a counsellor who will help you work out your justifiable anger at the sentence and the fact this boy comes from an affluent family, who probably had a hand in the light sentence. This boy will learn nothing from a parent who does not let him feel the full wrath of what he has done. This boy will someday become a burden to a father or mother who protects him. WE all want to protect our children from harm. BUT. Integrity is Priceless. So is taking responsibility for one's actions. I am sorry for your loss.

Feb 09, 2014
your fiance
by: Lawrence

Hunter,

If you let your anger and bitterness consume you, it will, you must start grieving and let your sorrow out in the way nature intended by crying and screaming at the world.
You have been given a rough deal and it isn’t fair, but as I constantly tell my grandchildren “LIFE ISN’T FAIR” and once you except that one fact you will not be surprised at anything that happens.
You are obviously a young man with all your life ahead of you so wait until the agony lessens and the tears don’t flow so easily and then take the first faltering steps to normality, the missing piece of your heart will heal leaving just a slight scar that will always remain to remind you of your beautiful fiancé.
Lawrence

Feb 09, 2014
my Fianc'e gone
by: Kenneth

I know the pain is piecing your heart like a knife allow it no matter how hard it might be you will heal you might feel the drunken driver got off free but unlike your pain he has a concience to live with believe me no amount of money will take off the weight in his heart but you will heal like the rest of us and the love you have for your fiance will guide you and make you strong enough to start receving the gains that are waiting for you after this huge loss we loose our loved ones but the only way is to be strong and make them proud of us using whatever they taught us during the time we were with them,they will always be in our hearts and minds as beutiful memories for ever.

Feb 09, 2014
The Lord is my strength
by: Anonymous

Hello my fiance is gone. I am really sorry for the loss of your fiance. What kind of justice is this. That 16 yr. old should be serving some time in Juvenile, why, because he needs to know that he took a life from someone else, but you know I really do know how your feeling inside, because it is still early in your stages, but part of you is so much in pain still, and you need to get some counseling if you need too. I think I remember seeing this post some time back, anyways my friend I grieve with you, because I too loss my husband, but 1 yr. 11 months ago today being 2-8-14, but my husband passed away of this ugly Cancer called Leukemia I spelled it wrong, but you know what I mean. Anyways listen if counseling don't work just pray to the Lord Jesus to bring you some form of closure to your pain, because it was and is an injustice. I don't know exactly where you live, but there never seems to be any justice to anything this days. The only one that can bring you justice is the Lord almighty, because he is your vindicator, and he is in control of everything. Now I am not preaching to you, because you may be a believer and you may not, but in order for you to feel a little normal again, you need to literally tell the Lord that you cast your burdens on to him, because he is our creator, and his trying to let you know he loves you, and really pray to him, as if you were talking to your best friend, and or your love one fiance, because she is up there, watching over you, and she don't want you to be sad, and hurting, but you take your time, and grieve at your own pace. You will know, but you will never really be the same, there will always be a void in our hearts for our love ones. I will pray that the Lord gives you strength, courage, and faith & hope are very important, maybe don't seem like it now, but you will come out of this stronger. May the lord give you strength in all this. Till next time The Lord is my strength.

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