My fiance of 5 years just up and left

Well it all begins with my birthday a week prior my fiance tells me he wants to do something really special for me for my birthday, says we could go away for the weekend or he would buy me the chandeliers for our home that I have been wanting for so long. I tell him going away wasnt a good idea because I have a debilitating chronic pain condition and I was having the worst few weeks of my life for pain. I cry because I am overwhelmed at his thoughtfulness, the birthdays prior to this were all bad he would just leave me spend my birthday away from me and spend the day with his daughter instead, it was always a disaster. Fast forward to my birthday, Nothing! no acknowledgement Nothing! he goes outside and spends the afternoon with his daughter, I cook dinner for 10 people nothing is said at dinner, then I FINALLY break down and ask him why he isnt spending the day with me. No response. We watch a movie as a family then he excuses himself and off he goes to bed at 6:30 to my grandaughters bedroom??? the next day hes gone when I get up and comes back a few hours later. I am so upset and hurt not only did he not acknowlege me on my birthday, he has 101 reasons why, from not finding time not having money, not knowing what to get? Hugh? he told me what he was going to get and I even showed him the chandeliers. He goes to work he doesnt speak to me I ask him if he feels bad about the way he treated me,he said not at all, AHHH! my heart was aching, I do so much for him on his birthday to make him feel special and loved, I dont get it. I tell him I am so sad and hurt by his actions, and asked him how it made him feel when his daughters mother forgot his birthday when they were together, he gets up and leaves me at 11pm and I havent heard from him. I am so confused, my heart is aching not knowing what just happened.

Comments for My fiance of 5 years just up and left

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Dec 04, 2012
He's a jerk!
by: Anonymous

I read you story and I can relate. My ex-fiancee did nothing for my birthday when we were engaged and on top of that was rude an mean the whole day. He gave the same excuse of no money and such, but the truth is, a sincere note would have been more than enough. And him not acknowledging your pain nor answering your questions is so, so selfish and just like my ex. You do deserve better and I'm glad you see that. Hang in there.

Nov 24, 2012
light at the end of the tunnel
by: Anonymous

Thank you for all of the comments posted about my story. I for so long began to feel that I was the crazy one, always over reacting to everything that happened, or what was said in the relationship. I often felt very alone. I feel unwanted often and unattractive always trying to remember that living with someone who lives with chronic pain is difficult at best for everyone around me, I have always put everyones feelings above my own. Perhaps now is the time to make some better choices for me and my overall well being. Thank you for helping me to see that there is always another path!

Nov 22, 2012
My fiance of 5 years just up and left
by: Doreen U.K.

He was your fiance. Not your husband. Good you found out before you became his wife. It would be that more difficult to live with.
Get into counselling and get yourself into a stronger mindset so that you won't attract another man who will do this to you TAKE TAKE TAKE and have no feelings. You probably did too much for him. Why? Because you loved him. Did he love you? His actions will give you the answer to this. It hurts when love is only one sided.
LET THE MAN GO!!!!! Change the locks on the door and your actions will tell him something. "I DON'T WANT YOU EITHER." This makes a Bold Statement. "YOU CAN'T TREAT ME THIS WAY." Make yourself stronger then find a man who RESPECTS YOU and treats you as you need to be treated. But I Can say that counselling works wonders. My son was married one year his wife kicked him out 5 times. Because my son did not want to share her with her EX. He went back. She is immature. She wants a friendship with her EX and my son as her husband. But if this is what he wants. Who am I to advise him otherwise. He is 43yrs. old and knows what he wants. If it is to live with a woman who only half loves him, he will wake up one day and see his own mistakes and live with them and grow from them. He will become mature from his suffering. I just couldn't live without RESPECT in a relationship. A relationship is hard to survive these days. But RESPECT is a good foundation to build on.

Nov 22, 2012
by: Anonymous

i hope you got rid that slime no women should ever put up with it ever cry it out and then put yourself first go out get a make over and spoil yourself and never look back belive me he dont have no heart and never will xo

Nov 21, 2012
Be Glad
by: Judith in California

What are you confused?! His actions show exactly how he feels...and that is NOTHING! Wake up! Stop doing for him and begin doing foru=yoursef. Take care of the physical pain you are living with.

HE is adding to your pain. Get a backbone and say good riddence.

He is a narcissist and could care less what you feel, think or have done for him all these years. Narcissist only care about what they are getting and give way too little emotionally in return.
There are a number of books about Narcissists that will affirm what I am telling you. Get one.

You be glad he is gone. He'll NEVER be what you want or need in a loving relationship. Stop being a door matt.
The worst thing in life is to live miserably for 5 years and 1 day.

IF he shows back up ...KICK HIM TO THE CURB! No one needs that lack of feelings and disrespect.

Let us know how your new life without him is...probably very peaceful.

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