My first born, my SONshine, my (once) bouncing baby boy!
by Tiffany Collins
(Lake Jackson, Texas)
My first Christmas without you.....
I celebrated my 40th birthday last month, my first in 20 years, without you. My birthday was uneventful, but I could not help but notice the "elephant in the room." I made it through, just as I had all of the days, since January 4th.
For Thanksgiving, we held our first (of many, we hope) food drive for the community, in your memory. We gave away 1000 turkey meals the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was an answer to a 15 minute prayer your Dad had on his way to work one morning. He asked for God's help in providing a means to help dinner for more families @ Thanksgiving....even if it was only 1 more family than last year, which would have meant 3!
In 10 days, the Lord provided the food, a distribution site, over 100 volunteers & families in need. It was such an awesome experience. We were still on "high" when TG arrived that I don't really remember anything awful about the day. We spent it with Billy & his family, as we did not want to have our traditional holiday with the extended family. We just needed something different. It was a nice day.
As we get closer to Christmas, I find myself struggling. Nothing is the same without you, Devin. I do not find joy in any of the things I did before losing you. I know that I will make it through this too, but it hurts worse than I ever imagined. I find strength in knowing you are in a better place & in better company. I can only imagine what a Christmas celebration in heaven must be like. Ours will not be the same without you!
Please know that you are never forgotten, your name and your humanitarian spirit live on. The place in my heart that feels so empty, is because I love you so much, sweet boy. That space is forever yours & my love for you is never ending. You will always be "my only SONshine!"
Rest in peace!
Devin Taylor Collins ~ 3/29/1990 -1/4/2010
Love you always!!