My forever Love - 55 years young

by Sam
(Vancouver, BC)

I met Ken just 2.5 years ago , 15 years after losing my husband . I spent those 15 years caring for my three children, working 6-7 days a week to provide for them. I never thought of dating or had the time for it . Ken walked into my life suddenly and though he was not the first man to ask me out , he was the first I said yes to . I felt like a teenager with him, my heart will pound so hard just by thinking of him. I finally found real love , an amazing, smart , handsome man who genuinely loves me . Ten months later Ken saw a neurologist for the weakness in his arm , he came straight to my work to tell me that he was diagnosed with ALS and that he might be dead within three years and he loves me but he will understand if I wanted to leave as he is not going to be the same man I told him that nothing was going to come between us and that we can together beat the disease. Things looked good and his progression was slow , I researched few things that helped other people and he started on them and they helped control the symptoms . By April of this year he was in a wheel chair but he could still stand with help and walk few steps . I wasn't worried as long as he was still able to eat and breath like he always did . He moved to a group home in July so he can get the help he needs and this was a mistake . In Sept one of the caretakers who had a very bad flu showed up to work , to take care of five very sick people . Ken got pneumonia from her and end up in emergency . He told me that day not to worry as it wasn't his time yet . Three days later he was in ICU unable to breath on his own . Oct 5th thing looked good , everyone said he is going to be ok , he smiled and seemed happy . Oct 10th I received a call from hospital that he was having problem breathing and that he is asking for me . He was unconscious , I sat and held his hand , he opened his eyes few times and looked @ me . He took his last breath that afternoon and I just sat there for another 4 hrs holding his hand and kissing his forehead unable to leave . I don't know what to do . I feel that no one understands what this man means to me. Now he's gone .


Comments for My forever Love - 55 years young

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Jun 03, 2014
My Forever Love
by: Kathy

I too met the love of my life after my husband of 26 yrs left me. Like you I never thought I would feel the way I did with my Tim. Soon after we began a life together he was diagnosed with liver cancer. We had 2 and a half years together til God called him home this Feb. I am still angry that we did not have more time together. I understand how you feel. Some days I think I cannot go on, but it will get easier. Know you are not alone, that is what terrifies me the most I must admit. We were bikers and it is hard to find someone who shares my interests that is a good man, but I have faith that we will be together again. I also believe he is still with me in spirit. I still text his phone, and writing in a journal really helped me. Try that.
Huggs dear lady

Jan 31, 2014
Dear Sam
by: Anonymous

Sam I just lived through this. I was divorced from an abuser for 25 years. I never thought I would ever meet anyone. We met early in 2008. It took me a while to trust again.
I eventually fell madly in love with him. We were made for each other. He was retired and I was still working. He wanted me to retire and I was going to work one more year.
We got married in 2010. Happiest day of my life. The only problem I had was his smoking. He just couldn't quit. We went to the Doctor and he put him in the hospital. He had Congestive heart failure. He stayed for a week and the Doctor sent him home. I asked if I should stay home from work, He said he could take care of himself. I called him at noon time. He said he was fine just tired. When I came home at 5 pm he was dead. He was just laying on the bed. That was 2/28/2013.
I am still going through the firsts. It is **ll. I cry all the time. He definitely was the love of my life. I will miss him until the day I die. I thank God for the wonderful years we had.

Oct 21, 2013
my forever love-55 yrs young
by: silver

Dear Sam,I have been where you are.My husband had emphysema and ended up in the ICU on a respirator also after getting pneumonia.He was there for 5 days and never woke up except the day he died.I thank GOD I had him as long as I did.I thank GOD for letting me know what real,true,deep,abiding love was.I miss him so much.What keeps me going is the belief taht one day I will get to hold him again.Until that day, I will go on as best I can.I still grieve but I know that no matter what GOD's plans are for me,he will always have a piece of my heart...Which I plan to get back from him one day.The people on this site are so great.They have helped me a lot.It helps to know that there are others who KNOW EXACTLY how you feel.I keep all of us in my prayers.I ask GOD to send you strength and peace.

Oct 15, 2013
My forever Love - 55 years young
by: Doreen UK

Sam I am so very sorry for your loss of Ken from your life in such a short time of being together. You did an amazing job of bringing your children up having faced the loss of a husband/father. Life must have been very difficult all those years. You had a chance at loving someone else and being loved in return and now cut short through death. You took a chance and this should be your FOCUS. Embrace everything Ken meant to you even if you had him for such a short time. Often when we love we want it to last forever and why shouldn't we. You sadly are hurt all over again in such a short time which will be very hard for you to process your loss.
My Aunt who is 82yrs. had 3 husbands and lost them all. She was deeply wounded by each loss but yet went on to do it 3 times. She now lives alone but has a male companion she shares meals and time with in exchange for him doing odd jobs around her home. It works for her. We each have to find our way forward from loss. You will go through the motions again and be hurt all over again which is not pleasant. Stunned by what has happened in such a short space of time. Ken was right for you which is why you said Yes to Him. I think it was wrong of the nurse who had the flu to put herself amongst sick and vulnerable patients. It is downright irresponsible. When my husband had terminal cancer his Oncologist was seeing patients with shingles. My husband had a weakened immune system from chemotherapy and he got shingles in his eye which is the most dangerous place to get it and can cause blindness within one year. But as my husband had terminal cancer I guess doctors don't consider this when seeing patients. It is still a lack of respect. It is all these things that happen that add to one's grief and compound it. I am so sorry for your loss of Ken. Please write back with an update on where you are in life at any stage so you can be supported.

Oct 15, 2013
I'm so sorry for your loss
by: S

I'm so very sorry that you've had to endure this double grief! Your first husband 15 years ago, and now your precious Ken...

Hold the incredible 2.5 years of precious memories close to your heart, and everything Ken meant to you.

It will be very tough at first, the initial shock will help numb the worst pain, and eventually it will flow... you have been through this before so you know...

It's so very sad that such a wonderful man had to go, now Heaven has another Angel.

My dad also passed away from Pneumonia he picked up in hospital last year, however I no longer focus on the how or why, but rather on the blessing that I had him to begin with, such a wonderful Dad, and that I was blessed to have him into my adult years. Life will never be the same again, there will always be a hole, and triggers will bring tears regularly, but it's a sign he was loved, very much, and will forever be missed until we meet again.

Everyone on the grief journey here who has lost their precious partners knows how you feel - you are not alone. Take your time to heal, take it a day at a time, and draw your family close. My mom lost her great love of 48 years, and she is slowly coping with the love of her children (us) and focusing on the good memories with her man.

We will pray for you, for strength and peace during this very tough time. God Bless. S

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