My friend, gone so fast.

by Heidi
(New york)


My friend Sonya died on October 29, 2010. We also lost a little girl in the accident. It happened on my birthday. Sonya called me that morning to tell me happy birthday, and to listen to our local news channel to hear them sing to me. She told me that she had to bring her daughter to the dentist, and she would call me when she got home. I never did get that call. I never did get to say goodbye, and I love you.

I was laying on the couch when I got a phone call asking me if my friend had died? I was pretty mad because, if my friend died, wouldn't I have known? I was told that there was a woman, a child, and there was also two other children in the car. They said that there were two that died. There was a little girl ( my other friends daughter), and a woman they were saying Sonya that had died. I was saying, must be the wrong people????

I was so upset, and mad because I was sure this wasn't true. I looked across the road, that is where she lived. There were no cars there. I remembered that her step daughter had came over to tell me that her day just wasn't going good, Sonya was in a accident. I figured that it was a little one where she got hit in the back by a driver. I ended up falling asleep when I did get that call. I never thought anything of her daughter telling me what she said earlier, if it were serious, she would have known?

I was calling all over, there was no one to tell me what was wrong. Was there a accident, was my friend dead? I only had 1 person to call, and it was her husband's brother. I called, and asked him what was wrong, was there a accident? He told me yes, he didn't want to tell me what happened. I got very upset by then. I told him that I needed to know NOW. He told me that my friend had died, and little Jacqueline too. That was it for me.

I lost it, I totally lost it. I didn't believe it, I was telling my sister that I needed to see them, to see her. My friend couldn't be gone. She was always the one that was strong. She always was the one with the attitude that she could do anything. I was crying like I was dying, I felt like I was inside. I just wanted to see her, to believe it.

It was real, my friend was gone. She was gone, she still is. She was on her way home from the appointment, and we are told she ran a stop sign. Sonya and Jacqueline were gone upon impact. I never got to say goodbye, I never got to say that I am sorry for all the words I had spoken when I was mad. I never got to tell her I love her. I just wanted to scream on top of my lungs, instead, I beat the crap out of my steering wheel in my car.

I feel so much sadness, and despair sometimes. My friend is gone, and there is nothing that I can do to get her back. We did so much together. I was there for the birth of one of her children. I was there to hold her hand, and cut his cord.

I am hoping that there are others here that can help me through this. I am so angry, I used to believe that there was a heaven, and a god. I now have no clue what to believe. Sonya came to me in my dream one time after she died. All she did was Smile at me. I wish that she would come back again. I am able to see her children, and go to her home anytime. I just look at them, and want her back. I feel so selfish. I just don't know how to let her go, I just can't................

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Dec 27, 2010
Thank you
by: Anonymous

It does help to read other people stories. It is heart breaking so many times.

Dec 27, 2010
We are here with you
by: Lyn Ann

Hi - We on this blog site have all lost dear ones - spouses, children, friends - many within the last few weeks. So we all know exactly what you are going through. It is normal for you to feel the way you do. It is horribly, horribly painful, and I'm afraid there is no easy way out.

But we are all here for you - to listen, and to sympathize. so please keep coming back and sharing how you feel. There is a mantra on this site - take things one breath, one step at a time. God bless - Lyn Ann

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