It's good to find that long term grief (5 years) is not abnormal. My Wife of 15 years died 5 years ago of terminal cancer. We had good closure, She lived for a year after Her diagnosis. I just still miss Her so much. Today is Thanksgiving. That was the holiday we "did" for our families. I have since moved cross country (NY to AZ), and am not near Her or my family. I'm going to a friend's place for turkey today.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is OK to still Love and miss someone after 5 years. WE had the best life together, which fell to pieces after She died, and I miss it! It's OK to miss a good thing that is gone.
Mary Kate, my Love, happy Thanksgiving in Heaven Baby. I give thanks for You every day. today I am one day and night closer than I was yesterday. I will see you again. We Will Love again, eternally!