My Gramdma

by Samantha
(Kane ,Illinois , USA)

It has been a week since her visitation. She had died on October 9th at 7:02 pm. She was 72 and like my mom because I never lived with my mom. She had been battling cancer for a little over a year and a half. I had been handling it well. What I tried to do was just convince myself that nothing was wrong and it had been like that all my life, but the thing was it hadn't. She was a very stubborn lady and lasted longer than 3 months which is the time frame her doctor gave her.I was sitting right next to her in her bed when she died, I was so shaken up that I had to be in a different room when they took her. I miss her so much. I just don't know how to handle it. What I have been doing is I won't cry tell I have gone to bed so that none knows. Is that a bad thing?

Comments for My Gramdma

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Nov 04, 2013
by: Charlotte

I'm so so sorry I know exactly how you feel as I went through the same last week, it's heart breaking watching them die and then you finally realize, they're gone? they're never gonna come back. i'm here for you and you're not alone.

Oct 21, 2013
Grief Experiences...
by: Anonymous

Samantha, I am so sorry about your losing your Grandma. Everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. It has been such a short time for you that you are probably still is shock. I was like that and didn't cry much at first, but I have read a lot on grief and eventually you will cry and that is good. Grief comes in waves that wash over you, just like being in the ocean. They subside and you will feel better after having released the sadness. Just be careful to take good care of yourself, eat well, try to sleep well, be gentle with yourself and know that grief is like having a physical illness. It takes time and good self care to begin to recover. The best book that I read on the subject is Experiencing Grief by H.Norman Wright. It's a tiny book by it just saved my sanity. Take care and know that you have people who care that you are hurting. Prayers and hugs to you, dear.

Oct 21, 2013
My Grandma
by: Doreen UK

Samantha I am sorry for your loss of your mom to cancer. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 17 months ago. Cancer is a horrible disease to live with for the whole family. It is devastating.
I think you are repressing your grief as a way of coping. BIG MISTAKE. You will feel your grief worse later on and may need counselling to manage your grief. You can't force grief it comes naturally in the way of crying. Crying is Good Grief. To not Cry and express some emotion is dangerous. If you are having difficulty coping with grief. Go and see a grief counsellor whilst you are in the early stages of grief. You won't fall apart. Every time you cry you will feel better afterwards and slowly be healing from grief. Grief is so very painful. Like no other pain one has ever experienced. I urge you to seek support. Write back if you have to so that you have support on this site.

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