I can't really remember my granddad not being ill. He has always had Parkinson disease this meant that he was slow at walking and pretty much everything, he was always weak and tired and over the years me and my whole family have watched him disintegrate from the man he was before the disease. I know that lots of families deal with illnesses and that I am not alone in that sense but it was hard watching someone you love so ill and knowing that he was so weak that even a common cold could kill him and not knowing if he would live long enough for me to see him again. On the 23rd of December 2011 he died after being admitted to hospital a week before hand after experiencing a stroke. This was the first time my family have really experienced any kind of tragedy, his diagnoses was the worst thing to ever happen to us. It was a very strange Christmas, even tho Christmas is a time of being with family, friends and enjoyment and it was but there was a strange feeling throughout the whole holidays. I am not really sure why i am writing this, it is the first time I have ever really talked about it and I am not even talking I am typing. I don't know. It is coming up to the anniversary of his death and I haven't stopped thinking about him all year. I don't know is it is normal for me to still feel like I have only just lost him. I miss him everyday and loved him lots.