(Shortsville, New York, The united states)
Hi, i am 14 years old and my grandmother and i were very close. Every morning for 5 years i had been going down to her house for breakfast before school. She passed away on August 14th, 2010. She was a wonderful woman and will be missed dearly.
But i have going through a lot. For example i have been very violent towards my family when it comes to being spoken to about the way i act. I don't know why i act this way. I just do. I can't control my anger, especially when i start. I scare my self. I black out and don't remember what i had done. I understand that i can't keep doing what i'm doing but i don't know how to stop.
I understand that most of my feelings are from not talking about her death. I don't like to talk to anyone about any of this and i keep my anger and sadness up inside and then when my body can't take it anymore i lash out and say and do things that i know are wrong and shouldn't have done. I know when i say this i should take my own advice but you need to talk to somebody about it. If you don't worse things could and will happen. Trust me i know.