My Grandson

by pam slavens
(strafford mo)

My grandson Patrick was 18. He died the 26 th of Nov 2012. He was at a friends house and somehow a gun was brought out and my grandson was shot in the head. the pain is unbearable. I raised Patrick from 5 months old. He is like my own child. His baby sister who is 4 knows he isnt coming back but doesnt understand why. He was her hero and he was my sunshine and the very air I breathe. He was the reason I woke up every morning. Patrick loved his church and was friends with all he met and in the end that was what took him. The house he visited was a known drug house altho to look at it you would never know. We didnt and I am sure Patrick didnt.The 20 yr who shot him is a known dealer. this we did not know either.He seemed to be like other young men. So far it is being called an accident but in our hearts we know it wasnt. the detective says it is a matter of getting the forensics back before he can be charged with Pats death.
what is so wrong and unfair is this same house was raided in June 2012 and guns and drugs were found but they were never charged. Had they charged them Patrick would still be with us. I am hurting so terribly and yet in the next moment I feel a white hot rage.Patricks services are tomorrow and I have to face the inevitable. He isnt coming home and this isnt a cruel joke. I try to tell myself that they are wrong and it could not be my Patrick and he will come home. I hear the wind against the screen door and my heart jumps. I found a bag of deer jerky a friend sent to him and i thought oh i need to give this to Pat. he loves it and then reality sets in and it devastates me once again. I dont know how to go on from here without him.

Comments for My Grandson

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Oct 27, 2013
My wonderful grandson
by: Anonymous

I am so deeply sorry for all of you who have lost someone so precious to you. I lost my grandson March 28, 2012 and still cannot grasp the reality of it. He took a drug that made him sick, however, the doctors say it was not the drug that killed him, it was the fact that he got sick, vomited while lying on his back passed out and his lungs aspirated. He lived for 7 weeks, although he was not conscious (just electrical movements in his body). I hope and pray he did not suffer. From the first moment I touched him, somehow I felt he was already with Jesus. I know that is supposed to give you peace, but it doesn't. I can't get past this and although I know other people depend on me, I look so forward to dying myself and seeing my sweet boy's smiling face. God bless all of you. You're all in my prayers.

Jan 18, 2013
My Grandson
by: Anonymous

I to suffer the grief of the loss of my grandson Taylor he was shot in the head november 17th 2012 almost the same as yours he was 22 years old a husband an father of a beautiful little girl he was my first grandson, I truly have a big hole in my heart right now I too am hurt an angry why is the question I keep asking myself I have been watching my Daughter mourn the loss of her only son it is heart breaking for all of us I will pray for you an your family .Taylor had the most beautiful smile,his little girl has the same smile.Prayers to you an all who suffer the loss of loved ones.Known to my grandchildren as Grannie.

Dec 10, 2012
The loss of your dear Grandson
by: Christine

I am so very sorry for your loss!! He looks like he was quite a very nice guy and a joy to you!! I know the sorrow you feel, I lost my only son on June 2, 2011...It is such a "different" type of loss!! I lost both my parents and a brother murdered and my younges/closest brother died from cancer. These losses were very difficult to deal with, especially my brother that was murdered! That was 26yrs ago, and I was justcoming to terms with that, when my son died.....This is a thousand times worse than anything I have ever been thru!!! I can feel your pain and also the love that you shared with your grandson!!You have my deepest sympathy and will pray that you find comfort in the memories you shared!! Bless you!

Dec 08, 2012
your grandson
by: Huu loc

Hi there,
I read your story and cry because I feel your pain
as my pain 8 months ago I lost my only son by drug OD. I love him very much nothing can heal my heart
I miss him every day and all I could do is pray he has better place escape the suffer and stressful society world.
My family and friends especially the monk told me
he is done his mission (karma) in this world now he go back home and will come back when he ready for another mission which will better than he had
Died is not the end is changing and start another life like you take off old shirt to a new shirt.
So that how I could go on thinking I will see him come back here again.
So please take your self pray for him you could cry as much as you can that help to take off some stress and suffer what I've been doing and feel
peace after.
I wish you the best and pray for your grandson and my son will come back to us.

Dec 05, 2012
by: Anonymous

Thankyou so much for all the kind words. I am not handling this well. The sevices were Monday the 3rd and even tho I saw the casket he was in I still cant grasp the idea he is gone. He was so much a part of my heart and it will be forever broken I know. I am so sorry for your losses. I know you hurt as much as I do and I am deeply touched that you all sent such kind words.

Dec 04, 2012
My Grandson
by: Doreen U.K.

Pam I am so sorry for your loss of your grandson.
What a stupid senseless tragic loss of life from thugs who have no value of life and care nothing about taking a life without the consequences or the pain for the family.
We are living in the most difficult time for a world that has gone mad. Chaos everywhere and drugs that is destroying life and our world.
How do you get past the deep Sorrow you are in and the sadness you are faced with every day now with your grandson missing from your life.
A young life cut down in the prime of life and had so much more to live for. he was young and had a future to look forward to. Now NOTHING. These are cruel men who exploit others for the drug money that is more important to them. This is pure evil.
God is the only one who can rescue us from what we have to go through in life. May God comfort you in your sorrow and grief.

Dec 04, 2012
I feel your pain....
by: Mary E

I read your story and it touch me so much that I had to write you back..I too lost my son last year in Nov. 2011. I still haven't got over it and I do think about him everyday.

A mother heart is always hurt for her son.

Keep praying for him, I don't know what else to say, my words wont make it better I know. Just remember his time on this earth the memories that he left you and always be in your heart for ever and ever.

I hope this helps, God Bless!

Dec 03, 2012
sorry for your lost
by: byron

the way you lost your grandson was terrible, i am sure there is no words to easy you pain, i just hope that you can find peace with time remembering the life you share, i lost my father only 40 days ago and all thay i can tell you is that i understand your pain, i going crazy, but we must go on.

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