My Granny

by Audrey

I lost my Grandma last December 2011. I know it has been a year, but I still grieve every day. My Granny was my life. She, along with my Papa, raised me from an infant. My mother and father were never really part of my life. My granny died of lung cancer; she hadn’t smoked in over 20 years. It made me so angry. She died only 3 months after diagnosis. She was 70 years old. She did chemo for a few weeks, but decided she didn’t want to be sick her remaining days. The cancer was too far spread. I still think of my Granny every day, and I find myself crying at random times. I find myself snapping at my husband for no reason. I hate feeling angry, and I hate feeling like a piece of my heart is missing. I don’t know how to cope with this loss. I loved her so much, and don’t know how to move on. I honestly think I need mental help, but I have always been the 'rock' in my family and don't know how to ask.

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Nov 27, 2012
My Granny
by: Doreen U.K.

Audrey I am sorry for your loss of your Granny. You should not feel "How could you ask for Help?" when you have been the caretaker. You have every right to get the support you need from skilled counsellors who will help you immensely you will wonder why you didn't go sooner.
I have been caretaker for everyone since 14yrs. of age and the responsibility was so immense I had 3 breakdowns and was forced to seek counselling or end my life. I managed to get the right counsellor and I was in counselling for years, at the same time bringing up 3 children. My difficulties caused my 3 children to need support. They all grew up with lack of confidence which did affect their life. GO FOR SUPPORT!. I did and it was the best investment I made into gaining better mental health. I then went on to give 8 yrs. of my life to voluntary work in the Mental Health Sector. Best experience of my life. I learnt skills that has benefited me today.
I got my life back and I felt I could dance on air. I found my life for the first time in my 40yrs. I also went on to related differently that benefitted my family. I lost my sensitivity to problems. I matured in a different way. I hope everyone has this experience with their counselling. If you don't. You have the wrong counsellor. Find another one. Mind you counsellors can tell you stuff you don't want to hear. But in the days ahead you will find that what they say is very healing. You Heal in stages. Not all at once.
I hope that what I said gives you the encouragement to find support when you need this. It is a very mature and responsible decision. Because we are responsible for ourselves. Best wishes.

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